Three Things: I could read over and over again

I'm known to be a bit of a reader.  (I'm also known to understate things a tiny bit from time to time) 

Reading has been a HUGE part of my life ever since I was a kid.  I love to lose myself in a good book.  I would spend most of my days reading - all day, every day if that were actually possible.  (wait... is there a job for that? If anyone has an opening with a job description like that - let me know!  'Cause I would totally rock that!)

I always say I don't like to answer questions about my favorite books.  It's just too hard to pick a favorite book.  I have loved so many different ones over the years.  And yet... here I am writing a post about three things I could read over and over.  Painting myself into a corner of sorts.  Because honestly, there are probably hundreds of books I would read again.  And there are quite a few I have read twice - or more - in my lifetime.  These are simply three that came to mind:

1) The Time Traveler's Wife (by Audrey Niffenegger): There aren't many books I can say made me cry.  Real, tears running down my cheeks, heart aching kind of cry.  But this one did. The story is just so beautiful.  And so sad.  The day I finished the book, I closed it, and immediately thought..."Yes.  That book would be on my Top Ten list"  When I first read it, I had a borrowed library copy.  I had to go buy my own to keep!

2) Unglued (by Lysa TerKeurst): Just being real here... I probably NEED to read this book over and over.  And over again.  This is a fantastic book about breaking the habits of stuffing down our emotions, or letting them explode all over ourselves and others.  Controlling your emotions instead of letting them control you.  And having more godly reactions to circumstances and other people.  When I read the first page, I was pretty sure Mrs TerKeurst had been sneaking around spying on my family!

3) To Kill A Mockingbird (by Lee Harper): I mean because, c'mon.. it's To.Kill. A. Mockingbird.  This is one of those novels I have probably read at least 5 times.  I love the story.  I love the movie.  It's a classic!

And because I just HAVE to do it: Honorable mentions would go to "Gone With the Wind", "Island of the Blue Dolphins", "The Great Gatsby", "The Other Boleyn Girl", "One Thousand Gifts", "Charlotte's Web", "A Thousand Splendid Suns"... and so many others!!

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As Far As It Depends On You

It started when I began reading "Unglued" by Lysa TerKeurst.  I barely made it through the first chapter page before I became convinced that she has cameras hidden somewhere in my home and had been watching all my less-than-stellar unglued moments.  As I kept reading, I found plenty of  "oh, that's me!...Ouch!" moments in those pages.  I recognized myself in her stories of stuffing emotions, and those of exploding.  I knew I had plenty of room for what Lysa calls "imperfect progress" -  "slow steps of progress wrapped in grace".

Oh, but God didn't stop there.  No.  He keeps pressing on my heart.  Every where I turned were messages of  letting go of resentment.  Forgiving.  Not holding onto bitterness.  Not gathering retaliation rocks.  Being kind and humble.  Forgive.  Let go.  Forgive.  Let go.  Be kind.  Resolve conflicts.  He had identified an area I need some work, and he was going to make sure I got the message.  Why, even this coming week the subject our preacher will be speaking on is "God is Bigger Than Your Conflicts". 

I can identify relationships in my life where I am holding onto some level of resentment. I store up hurt feelings, slights, and annoyances. Some real, some may just be in my perspective. I use them to justify myself as I build up that wall. I avoid the person and I stuff the feelings that come up when faced when them. Funny thing about those feelings - they grow, they get sharper, and they end up hurting us more than anyone else.


It's not that I want to be angry.  Or bitter.  Or self righteous.  Or unkind.  But... well, in some situations it's just become what's comfortable.  Maybe comfortable is the wrong word.  But familiar.  And even if it's not comfortable, familiarity still carries its own level of... well, comfort.  Holding onto past resentments.  Or harsh feelings.  Or dislike of a particular person.  It becomes like a security blanket.  It can be because we haven't really forgiven.  Or it may be a wall we've built up to protect ourselves before that person can hurt our feelings once again. 

Romans 12:18 tells us "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."  Which puts the ball for resolving those feelings of conflict squarely on our shoulders. 

I want to resist.  I want to throw myself to the floor and flail my arms like a child, crying out "But, I don't wannaaaaaa".  I want to pull out all those justifications of  for why I am feeling and acting the way I am.  This was about the time I read Lysa TerKeurst's words "Am I trying to prove or improve? In other words, is my desire in this conflict to prove that I am right or to improve the relationship at hand?" I felt the sting.  Another "ouch".  Message received. 

I know I have improvement to make.  But it starts with realizing that I need to take steps as far as it depends on me to live at peace with everyone.  I can't control others, but I can control how I react to them and how I let them affect me.  I have to try to improve relationships rather than prove myself right.

Trust me... it's going to be imperfect progress.  And I'm going to need plenty of grace as I stumble and slip along the way.  Fortunately I've also been blessed with more of that than I could ever hope for!

Thankful Thursday: August 9

Blessings came in so many forms this week.  It's hard to know where to begin or to pick just three to highlight this week!

1. Unexpected Gifts: I don't know if it's good or bad that I can still find myself surprised at the kindness and generosity of others.
2. Queen B's Busy Work:  2 new orders!
3. Unglued:  Although after reading chapter one of Lysa TerKeurst's new book, I am pretty sure she has cameras hidden in my house watching my every move - I am still enjoying it.  I was disappointed when I found it was not in stock when I went to the store to pick it up.  But blessed when I arrived home to find it gifted to me as part of #1!