Tell Me What I Want To Hear, Not What You Really Think

I had come up with the name for my crafty dive into entrepreneurship. I was pleased with myself. I thought it was clever. Catchy. I couldn't wait to share my excitement. So, of course I grabbed my phone and shot out a quick text to one of my sisters.

"Honestly, I don't care for it", was her reply. Followed by a parade of name suggestions she thought more appropriate.

I was crushed. My spirit was broken. The spark I had felt fizzled out. I had wanted (and expected) her response to be the same as mine to my idea. I had wanted her excited approval. And when that wasn't what I got. I was hurt. I was disappointed. And yes - I was a little angry.

At 40+ years into my life, I still want the approval and admiration of my sisters. Yes, I know I'm a grown woman. But just because I shouldn't need their admiration and approval, doesn't mean I don't still want it. Or maybe it would be more correct to say that I DON'T need it, but I DO want it. I admit it. Even at my age, I still want my little sisters to look up to me like when we were kids. Call it what you will, but it's just a fact.

Of course she had no idea how she had hurt my feelings. She was trying to be helpful. She was just sharing her opinion. I had left myself open for that. But knowing it wasn't intended to be hurtful didn't take the sting away. Or heal the bruised place inside.

Fortunately, realizing she hadn't meant anything harmful in her words made it possible for me to fight back my knee-jerk reaction to respond in anger with bitter words. I bit my tongue.  I let the initial sting wear off. She is probably going to be completely shocked when she reads this (and she may even be angry with me for a short while for sharing this so publicly).

And in the end, if I'm being honest. I didn't need her approval. I'm still going with the name I had picked out and been so excited about (probably).

Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled. ~Jane Mersky Leder

To Be, Or Not To Be: Grandma

As soon as people know you are going to have a grandchild - everyone starts asking:  "What is he or she going to call you?"

Some people cringe away from the word "Grandma"  Like having it used in reference to them will somehow magically transform them into some gray haired, stooped over, ancient granny type. 

Whatever...  I don't care who calls me Grandma. It's just a word.  I do have a grandchild, which does make me a grandmother no matter what I am called.

I will confess that I prefer that the Little Guy call me something a little more unique and with a little more personality to it.  Not because I have some deep rooted hatred and/or phobia about the word grandma. Just because I like to spice things up a little.  I don't want to be just another Grandma in the world.

Also, in our family every grandmother has ended up called something different, which helps to differentiate between them. The Man of the House's grandmother is "Grandma".  His mother is "Nana".  My Mom is "Granna" 

I have been liking Oma (German for grandmother).   Honestly, at this point the Little Guy could call me just about anything at all and I wouldn't care!