That Really Stinks

The other night a very loud buzzing sound woke me up.  The source of that buzzing?   The stink bug that was landing on my head. 

Seriously people!  ON. MY. HEAD.

We have been living with the stink bug invasion for a few years now.  You can't kill them like a spider or something because if you squash them, they... well... they stink. I have pretty much accepted that at any given time there is likely to be one of those nasty looking little things crawling on some ceiling, wall, or window of my home. 

But I absolutely draw the line at landing on my head while I am trying to sleep.  That is just so not OK!! In about a hundred different ways.

To make matters worse, I woke again a short time later to a congested nostril. The kind of congestion where you can feel a big ol' blockage right behind the bridge of your nose.  Which normally wouldn't phase me.  When you have allergies like mine, you also pretty much accept that some nights (and days) you are going to experience this feeling.

However, after just having had a stink bug land on my head I became paranoid convinced that the same stink bug had somehow landed on me again, climbed up my nose, and was now lodged in my sinus cavity directly behind the bridge of my nose. 

I had a teeny tiny little panic attack, driving me to the bathroom in search of tissue.  Where - after blowing my nose loudly and repeatedly - I was once again able to breathe through that nostril and was assured there were no creepy crawlies wedged into parts of my skull.

Flu Paranoia

I admit it... all this media coverage about the flu outbreak is getting to me.

When I go to the gym CNN or FoxNews is always on the TVs.  And they are always ( I mean always) talking about the latest flu statistics.  With nothing else to do while on the treadmill than listen to this, my mind starts reeling off into the possibilities...

Anyone in here could have the flu and I wouldn't know it.

What if the last person on this treadmill had the flu and didn't wipe down the handles after they finished?

Yes, it's gotten bad enough hat I wipe down the machine before and after I use it. 

It's not just at the gym either. 

The other day I returned a movie to the RedBox and began worrying about who might have used that touch screen before I did.

Especially since the machine was right outside CVS.  I could just imagine sick people stopping to get all their flu survival med and a few movies.  That one had me scrambling around inside the car searching for some hand sanitizer.  Ugh...

And before you even get started - yes, I know that a flu vaccine is probably a good idea.  Especially with my level of paranoia.  Let's just say I have some personal issues with the flu shot dating back to the year they gave us shots at work and I still ended up in bed for a week with the flu virus.  It's my baggage to deal with.

In the mean time, I'm stocking up on hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, and vitamin C.

Raspberries and Paranoia

Picking raspberries in your yard becomes a whole new type of experience after you have seen a black bear sniffing around the canes.

I had the dog out in the yard, thinking he would alert me if any large furry visitors came calling.  Yes, the same do that sat silently in the living room while the rest of us ran about loudly commenting about the unusual diner in the front yard.  Even our obvious nervousness didn't get him at least curious.  Um.. yeh.. I don't think he's going to be much help here.

 Any tiny noise made me twitchy.  Jumpier than a cat on a hot tin roof.

At one point I was sure I heard a snorting, grunting sort of a noise. I jumped back about 6 feet from the raspberry canes, and made ready to sling my bucket of raspberries at the bear while screaming loudly and running for the house.


Wait.. you're not supposed to run when you encounter a bear, are you? Or maybe you are?


I found myself playing out the scenario.  What would I do if/when I came face to face with the bear?  I tried to think about what Bear Grylls or that Survivorman would do.  All I could remember was that you should always try to purify water before drinking it, and that if you fall through a frozen pond you are supposed to get naked and rub yourself with snow.  I don't think survivor dudes are gonna be much help either. 

Note to self: watch more Discovery channel - one never knows. 

Unfortunately that line of thinking also got me thinking about the Grizzly Man.  You know.. the guy who filmed his life living with wild bears.  Until they killed and ate him.  Thinking about him did not help my mental situation either.

Every rustle in the leaves had me convinced that Mr Bear was sneaking up on me, thinking that the bucket of berries I was carrying would make a nice dessert after his tasty meal of Me.  Although from my very limited exposure to bears, I don't believe it's likely that they sneak up on anything.  They don't seem to be a light footed sort of animal.  In fact, I would have to say the one I saw sort of lumbered about. 

Still... one can never be too careful.  Still thinking about the Grizzly Man.