The Holidays Can Bring Out the Best and the Worst in People

The other day the female offspring and I stopped at the post office to pick up stamps for Christmas cards.  It wasn't crazy busy, but it was pretty much hoppin' for our little small town postal facility.  Especially the parking lot.  It's to be expected - it's that time of year. 

photo: publicdomainpictures.net

As I was ready to leave there were two other cars also trying to vacate parking spaces.  Also a large truck and a mini-van looking for parking.

The older man in the truck stopped and waited to the other cars to leave.  I thought he was just waiting for one of those choice spots right in front of the door and was going to wait for him to go past before I tried backing up.  But then he waved me out also.  He was just being patient with all the other drivers.

The woman driving the minivan however, did not possess the virtue of patience that day.  She was a woman with places to go and things to do.  As clearly displayed by the way she decided she was done waiting for him to let everyone else go and came pulling on around him.  Swerving around (and between) both his tuck and my own vehicle in the process.  And - winner, winner, chicken dinner - she got herself one of those prized parking spots in front of the door as a reward for her aggressiveness.


The female offspring and I were both stunned!  Not only at her impatience, but how she was willing to risk a fender bender to get to a parking spot a whole 15 seconds faster than she otherwise would have.

As I circled around to pull out onto the road I looked back toward the building...

and saw the man from the truck hurry over and open the door to the post office for rude minvan lady!  Repaying her actions with an act of kindness.

It did my heart good to see that.  So.. thank you to the kind gentleman in the truck.   For reminding me that in the face of all the hostility and impatience of the holiday season - it is possible to stay positive and share kindness with others.  Even when they may not deserve it!

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My Love Dare: Day 5

He who blesses his friend with a a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. ~ Proverbs 27:14

Day 5: Love is not rude

Very few things are as irritating as a rude person. Someone who does unbecoming, annoying, or embarrassing things.

This is another one of those areas where we may be better about being polite to others than to our spouse. It certainly is true for me!

I know what you’re thinking. I’ve thought it also. “I want to be comfortable around my spouse. I don’t want to feel like I’m at a formal event all the time, having to mind my manners and be on my best behaviour. I want to let my hair down and just be myself”. Right…  Minding your manners and being polite doesn’t mean you can’t be yourself.  It just means being your best self.

But if we truly love someone, shouldn't we be just as concerned about their comfort as we are with our own?  Even more!!  Good manners say to the person you are with “I value you enough to exercise some self control around you; because I want to be a person who is pleasant to be with.”

The Love Dare presents three rules for being polite with your spouse:
1) Guard the Golden Rule: Treat your mate the way you want to be treated. Makes sense!

2) No Double Standards: Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers. I would say you should be even more considerate! This is the person you love and cherish. Don’t they deserve even better than someone you don’t even know?

3) Honor Requests: Consider what your spouse asked you to do, and DO IT! If in doubt – Ask!It’s easy to get wrapped up in what our spouse does that annoys us. But selfishness keeps us from considering (and changing) what we do that annoys our spouse. You can’t force your spouse to change. But you can take the first step, set the example and start taking your spouses feelings and requests into consideration and change yourself.

TODAY’S DARE: ASK YOUR SPOUSE TO TELL YOU THREE THINGS THAT CAUSE HIM OR HER TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE OR IRRITATED WITH YOU. YOU MUST DO SO WITHOUT JUSTIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR. THIS IS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE ONLY.

Ok… I asked. And once I convinced him that it was not going to start a fight, he still insisted that he couldn’t think of anything. Which leads me to three possible conclusions:

A) I really am the perfect wife! (HA!)

B) He really wasn’t convinced it wouldn’t start a fight, and didn’t want to go there.

C) He really couldn’t think of anything when I asked; and I will just have to start paying attention to his reactions to discover things I do which irritate him or make him uncomfortable in order to change them.