Bittersweet

So, my "baby boy" turns 18 years old today. And in less than two weeks he'll graduate from high school.

I'm so excited for him.  Although he has no idea what he ultimately wants to do (how many of us really did at 18?), the future is wide open in front of him.  I can hardly wait to see where this next season of life takes him.  Who he is going to become.

I have to admit though, it's not just all joy and happiness and excitement.  There's also some nostalgia.  And some tears.  Some apprehension.

To be completely honest I find myself feeling a little disoriented.  Ungrounded. Unsure. In unfamiliar territory.

photo: publicdomainpictures.net

You see, he's not the only one facing a new season of life.  For the past 23 years I have been mom.  My main job has been to raise these 2 amazing people and help them get ready for..  well, exactly where he is now.  Preparing to step over that threshold into adulthood.

I know, I know...  once a mother, always a mother.  And I will always be here for my offspring no matter how old they get.  But motherhood is going to... should... look a lot different from here on out.

Which leaves me wondering what my own next season of my own life is going to look like.  What is my role?  How will I define myself moving forward?

I guess it's an exciting (and a little scary) time for both of us!

The Days

Then, suddenly, he's picking up the schedule for his junior year of high school.  She's a grown woman with a child of her own.  And you realize how quickly the years went by and how quickly the next few years will be gone.

You find yourself longing for one more...

One more time feeling the warmth of a small body snuggle in your lap.
One more tiny hand holding yours.
One more first day of school.
One more hot, weary day of watching little league games.

You think, if only there were more time.

photo: publicdomainpictures.net

And there is...

Not the days of little sleeper pajamas, bedtime stories, or practicing for spelling tests.  But there are days ahead to look look forward to with anticipation.

New stages and seasons.  New accomplishments to celebrate. New memories to make. 

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