You're Never Too Old to Start

 Today, I start what once seemed like a dream job.

I questioned myself at every step of this new opportunity. I feared that I was too old to start something new. I worried that I was woefully unqualified.  I wondered whether I should simply stay where I was comfortable instead of risking disappointment. But despite all those doubts, I took a chance on myself - and today, I officially begin my journey as a library assistant. 

To some people, it may seem like just a job. But for me, it's proof that dreams don't have an expiration date.

This experience has reminded me of something many midlife women need to hear: it's never too late to pursue the dream that's been living quietly in your heart. Your age does not determine what's possible. If anything, the years have given you wisdom, resilience, and strength that you didn't have before.

If you're a woman in midlife, chances are you've spent years putting other people first. The years fly by, and then we start to believe that we missed our chance. We tell ourselves we should have started ten years ago. We convince ourselves that we're no longer relevant.  We're not young enough. We don't have enough experience. It becomes easier and easier to believe that we don't have what it takes and that opportunity has passed us by.  So many of us spend years talking ourselves out of new possibilities because we think we're "too old."

But who decided that?

Every day, women prove that reinvention has no age limit. At 40, 50, 60 years old, and beyond, they are starting businesses, earning degrees, discovering creative talents, and pursuing passions they thought were out of reach. Not because it's easy. Not because the timing is perfect. But because they finally decide to stop letting age make their decisions.

This opportunity to work as a Library Assistant didn't come into my life when I expected it to. It arrived after years of self-doubt, second-guessing, and wondering whether I was capable of pursuing something new. And yet, here I am. Because I pushed through all the doubt and anxiety and took a chance on myself. 

I believe if someone went back 40 or 50 years and told little me that one day many years in the future she would be working in a library, she would be tickled pink by the idea.  And I also believe that future me will thank me for taking the chance and filling out that job application even as the voices in my head whispered that I was too old and unqualified.

The woman you've always wanted to be is still waiting for you. Take the chance.  Believe in yourself.  Pursue the dream. 

I'm living proof that it's not too late to start a new chapter. 

Your story isn't over.  It's just one decision away from getting interesting.

Double Standards

There’s a strong double standard in how we talk about aging. Men are often allowed to grow older in whatever way they choose, while women face constant judgment. This imbalance influences our careers, our confidence, and how we, as women, see ourselves as we move toward and through this stage of life. 

Let's be honest... when Bruce Springsteen appears onstage performing just as he has for the past several decades, you don't see articles about how he's trying too hard or desperately clinging to his lost youth.  

When Lenny Kravitz regularly dresses in chest and/or stomach baring tops and skintight leather pants, he doesn't appear in online articles about how he needs to dress more age appropriate. 

When male celebrities like George Clooney embrace their gray hair they're considered a "silver fox", not shamed for letting themselves go.

You don’t see headlines questioning their relevance or suggesting they step aside for someone younger. Instead, they’re praised for staying vibrant and confident. But when women do the same thing suddenly that confidence and vitality is reframed as desperation and denial. 

This not-so-subtle messaging affects how we perceive other women; but more importantly - how we see ourselves! It can inhibit us from fully embracing the experience of getting older.  It can leave us constantly questioning ourselves and how we choose to age.

I'm here to tell you that we don't have to make ourselves smaller or fade into the background. We don't have to age in a certain way to meet anyone else's expectations. We can, and should, experience this stage of life to the fullest. On our own terms, out loud, and without judgment. 

Aging Isn't One-Size-Fits-All

Aging is a deeply personal experience. We each journey through life with our own experiences, values, and beliefs. These shape how we think and feel about the aging process.  Instead of critiquing how others navigate it, what if we chose respect, support, and allowing every woman the freedom to age on her own terms?

Recently, I saw SO many social media posts criticizing Madonna for dressing and behaving in what some people feel is inappropriate for her age while appearing onstage at Glastonbury. Within days of that wave of criticism, there was an article that came out ridiculing Cameron Diaz because she has apparently forgone cosmetic procedures and is choosing to age "naturally".  

Aging for women seems to be a no‑win situation. We’re expected to look youthful but ridiculed if we try too hard. If we choose to age "naturally" with no cosmetic procedures or dying our hair to hide the grays, then we're letting ourselves go. We're made to feel invisible yet still judged for everything from our appearance to how we act. All this keeps us constantly second‑guessing ourselves and feeling as though we're never getting it right.

The worst part is how, all too often, the harshest critics of how older women act, look, or dress are OTHER women. Ladies, we have to do and be better! 

If someone else is choosing to age in a way you wouldn't consider for yourself, that's her prerogative. We should each be allowed to age in whatever way is comfortable for us. Whether that's dying our hair or letting our silvers shine. Having a few procedures or deciding to age naturally. Staying active and taking risks or choosing to settle into a quieter lifestyle. Wearing fun, colorful, or  offbeat outfits or dressing in a more modest and subdued way.  

How another woman chooses to live her own midlife and beyond has no bearing or effect on your own. And if it does, maybe we need to examine that on a personal level instead of being so openly judgemental about it.

Rather than criticizing, let's support and lift each other up for expressing our individuaity and being our authentic selves. Or at the very least, remember the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say; don't say anything."

Give Yourself Permission

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to wait.

We waited for approval.

For the “right time.”

For someone to tell us it was okay to do what we wanted to do.

We became experts at meeting expectations. At being dependable, capable, accommodating. We showed up for everyone else. And while that strength carried us far, it also quietly taught us that our own needs could wait.

We became the dependable ones. The helpers. The glue. We learned early how to be responsible, agreeable, and self-sacrificing. We learned that being "good" meant being quiet and keeping the peace.

Midlife has a way of challenging that belief.

It shows up as restlessness you can’t quite name. A sense that the life you built no longer fits the way it once did. A gentle but persistent feeling that something needs to shift.

And still, we hesitate.

We ask ourselves, Am I allowed?

Is it too late?

What will they think?

So let me say this with love: Give yourself permission.

You have been carrying a lot, and you no longer have to carry what isn’t yours. You are allowed to evolve. What made sense at 30 doesn’t have to define you at 50.

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean abandoning others. It means showing up whole instead of depleted. It means modeling what it looks like to honor your needs, your boundaries, your truth.

And yes, it may feel uncomfortable at first. Growth usually does. But something remarkable begins to unfold when you stop waiting for someone else’s permission.

This season of life isn’t asking you to become someone new—it’s inviting you to finally come home to yourself. You don’t need a dramatic overhaul. One small, brave step is enough.

So give yourself permission. To pause. To change. To choose yourself

You are allowed.

You are ready.

Give yourself permission.

Sipping Tea in the Silence

For years, mornings meant rushing through preparations. Thinking about what needed to be done. Making sure everyone was up, dressed and ready for school. Remembering who needed to be where. All that activity somehow felt like proof I was doing life right. If I was resting, something must be forgotten or going undone.

Midlife has had a way of changing that.

Now, I have time to wait while the water boils and the tea steeps. To sit in the morning quiet, savoring the warmth of the cup in my hands and that first sip.  This slowness isn’t laziness—it’s self care.

Not every morning looks like this. Some days are still busy. But when it does, it helps me remember what's important. It reminds me to be present here, in this moment. And that starting slowly is still starting.

Finding Joy in Midlife

As you journey through the season of Midlife, do you ever find yourself feeling as if you're clinging to old expectations or a  version of that no longer fits. Do you feel like you've lost your sparkle? It doesn't have to be thay way!  Midlife can be a season of rediscovery, growth, and joy. 

After decades spent focusing on raising a family, having a career, and all the other responsibilities you managed - this is your chance to rediscover what lights you up and to create space for joy.  In this post, I’m sharing six simple ways to help you live a joy-filled midlife that is true to who you are today.

Stop chasing who you think you're supposed to be:  Let go of old expectations and rewrite what a meaningful, joyful life looks like for you today.

Do what feeds your spirit: Whether it’s hobbies you left behind or new passions calling your name. Dance. Sing. Paint, draw, or write. Make the art. Do the crafts. Pull out those roller skates. What ever makes you smile, laugh, relax, or feel like a kid again.  Do that.

Surround yourself with the right people: Find the people who make you feel seen, appreciated, and supported. The ones that let you be fully yourself. Spend less time with the draining folks. The ones that cause you to guard what you say or how you act. 

Get comfortable with saying "No":   Let go of any people-pleasing tendencies you have. Stop going places or doing things out of obligation or because you think you should.  Create space for more joy, rest, and clarity.

Stay curious: Never stop learning.  That might look like reading about subjects that interest you, taking a class of some sort, visiting museums or historical sites, or traveling. 

Practice gratitude: That could mean keeping a gratitude journal, spending a few moments when you first wake up or just before you go to sleep thinking about what you are thankful for, or being more present and aware of the joys and blessings in each day.

It doesn't have to be complicated. Start small. Pick one thing that makes you smile, create one boundary that brings peace, one moment to savor gratitude. Over time, these choices add up to a life that feels vibrant and joyful. You deserve that. So go ahead - dance, laugh, learn, and live fully. Your best chapters are still ahead!

Sunday Inspiration: Change

Midlife Is Not A Crisis

The Midlife Crisis.  It's one of the things that often comes to mind when people think about this stage of life. It's a time full of changes and challenges which can leave us feeling off-kilter, disoriented, and uncertaint about what we're doing and where we're going.

As we begin seeing more and more of the physical signs of aging, we may start recognizing and assessing our own mortality. This feeling that time is somehow running out may cause us to begin thinking about how our life has played out so far and what we want to accomplish with whatever time we have left.  This can lead us to realize that we have goals that we never achieved or abandoned along the way. We might feel a sense of dissatisfaction with what we have achieved. We may be realizing that jobs and relationships we've had no longer serve us. 

Our children are either on the cusp of becoming independent or are already grown. We're finding ourselves with empty nests for the first time in 18 years or more.

Other people may have expectations of what we should be doing or how we should behave (or dress, or do our hair or makeup) because we have reached a certain age. And these ideas might not fit with how we feel on the inside or what makes us feel confident and the most like our true self.

Midlife is only a crisis if we focus on the endings portion. As Semisonic told us way back in 1998 - "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Midlife isn't the end! You're not too old. And it's not too late.  

You still have an opportunity to rediscover that dream or goal you once had and look into chasing it. Or make some new ones! 

Having grown children means not having to focus our time and energy on their needs. This gives you more time to concentrate on what you want to do. This is YOUR time! 

You are under no obligation to do what other people expect!  Now is the time to live life as your authentic self. Especially if you haven't been doing it up to this point.  Wear the dress. Or the shorts. Or that bathing suit. Grow out your beautiful silver hair - or not!  Put on the red lipstick. Or don't wear any makeup. 

Figure out what brings you joy and do more of those things!

This chapter of life can feel like a collection of endings. But it can also be a time of new beginnings and opportunities.  

Sunday Inspiration: The One You Wish You Had

 

Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Anyone remember the song "Oh la la" by Rod Stewart that goes "I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger"?  For some reason it was stuck in my head the other day, which got me thinking...  what would I tell my younger self if I could get a message back to her?

Here are five things I came up with.

1) Some of the things you'll go through are definitely going to suck.  You'll make mistakes.  Some big ones.  You'll face some challenges. You're going to be hurt. But in the end it will all be ok. You're going to learn from all of it and grow as a result. It's going to make you the woman I am now.

2) Stop trying so hard to fit in. You don't have to like what everyone else likes or do what everyone else does. Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try. You might as well like yourself. (And, by the way, you're pretty damn spectacular.)

3) You're spending so much time worrying about things that don't matter. 99% of the things you're worrying about right now will either never happen, will turn out fine, or won't even matter one way or the other in a couple of years.  

4) Travel. Whenever and wherever you can.  It doesn't matter if it's an hour or two down the road or across an ocean. Go! Spend the weekends away with your husband. Take the road trips with your sister. When the opportunity comes up for that trip to Japan - take it! Make some memories!

5) Getting older isn't as scary as it seems.  In fact, it can actually be pretty great. Being in your teens and 20s is fun.  But being in your 50s is so much more fulfilling. Life doesn't end at a certain age.  It only ends when you stop getting older. So quit dreading every year that passes and start embracing them.  We're having so much fun now! 

What would you tell your younger self?

Aging Gracefully - or Not

If you follow the midlife crowd - in particularly midlife women - on Instagram like I do, you see a lot of  talk about "aging gracefully".  You'll see both positive and negative opinions about this term.  I have some strong feelings about it myself. 

But recently it has had me doing a lot of thinking about what exactly "aging gracefully" means. Who gets to decide what "aging gracefully" is?? 

I decided to go to the experts - women in midlife.  I put the call out to women on Instagram and Threads asking what "aging gracefully" means to them. Here's what I found out...

Aging gracefully means something a little different to each of us. For one woman that might mean coloring her hair. While for another it means embracing her silvers strands.  One might decide to go makeup free, while her friend enjoys using it. A woman might settle in to a cozy quiet lifestyle, or head out to travel and adventure.

Some women don't care for the term "aging gracefully" and even actively push back against it.

"Absolutely no idea and no plans to find out." - the_wonky_one

For some women, "aging gracefully" means embracing this stage of life and all the changes it brings. 

"Aging gracefully is simply being comfortable in your own skin. Even if that means extra weight, some grey hair, some extra lines. It means taking all those things and rocking them with confidence 😊 Wear the short skirt or the leather pants, or the sweats 😹 Make peace with the laugh lines that were earned by expressing your joy. Eat the croissant, chase it with a glass of champagne 🥂 and celebrate the wins. You’ve arrived 🩷" - Mercy DeSimone

"For me … it means not trying too hard to be something I’m not, not chasing *someone else’s* idea of beauty and accepting - no EMBRACING - who I am right now and living my best life. And yes - that includes “being healthy” - but as a reflection of actual health status, not some bullshit, patriarchy dog whistle for looking like a teenager." - dulcieanne88

One common theme that came up over and over again was loving yourself, doing what brings you joy and makes you feel the most like yourself.

"Giving grace to myself (and the women around me) to do what feels right- as it relates to the skin I’m in and what I put out (create)." - therealchiclife

"To me, aging gracefully is aging on your own terms. Doing what makes you happy and ignoring ridiculous societal constraints… you want to dye your hair? Do it. Want to go grey? Do it. Want to wear a mini skirt at 54 (my legs have aged well 😉…) do it! Want to start a new career or just read romances on the beach? Do it. Aging gracefully is doing what makes you feel good and makes your heart happy!" - tbh519

"Basically being true to myself " - chairman_pink_ 

And maybe that's what "aging gracefully" truly means - living this stage of life on your own terms. Whether that means coloring your hair, or letting your silvers sparkle. Wearing the makeup that makes you happy, or embracing your natural beauty. Wearing comfy casual clothes, or dressing to the nines.  

As for me - i think that "aging gracefully" means doing the things that bring you joy, being true to yourself, and honoring what makes you - You! 

Leave a comment and tell me what "aging gracefully" means to you!

A Midlife Woman's Manifesto

Re: Women in Midlife

We are no longer giving in and giving up just because we have reached a certain number of years.  We are still thriving and enjoying all that life has to offer.  We are constantly discovering new things - both about ourselves and about the world around us.

We are defying expectations and redefining the term "age appropriate".  We have spent the past 40-50+ years figuring out our personal style and what makes us feel good when we put it on.  We're not going to change that now to fit into the box of what anyone else believes someone our age should be wearing.  

We'll wear our hair short, mid-length, or long.  We'll wear a full face of makeup - or none at all.  We'll regularly color our hair - our we may let our silver strands shine. 

We're tired of playing a game we can't win.  We're tired of being told we are either trying to cling to youth and should learn to "grow old gracefully" - or we're "letting ourselves go." So, from now on, we're doing what makes us feel most like our true selves.

We're no longer being silent about perimenopause and menopause.  We're sharing our experiences - the good and bad.  We're advocating for better treatments and healthcare in these stages of life for ourselves and for the generations of women coming up behind us.  

We are showing up, showing off, being seen, and making sure our voices are heard.  Get used to it.

Sunday Inspiration: Courage

Sunday Inspiration: Create a Life You Love

Sunday Inspiration: Christmas

Merry Christmas!!

 

Sunday Inspiration: Lighthouses

 

Sunday Inspiration: Belonging

 

Sunday Inspiration: Understand

 

Sunday Inspiration: The Simple Things

 

Sunday Inspiration: Thanksgiving