Making the Most of Midlife: midlife

Showing posts with label midlife. Show all posts

Sunday, August 17, 2025

Tuesday, July 15, 2025

The Midlife Crisis. It's one of the things that often comes to mind when people think about this stage of life. It's a time full of changes and challenges which can leave us feeling off-kilter, disoriented, and uncertaint about what we're doing and where we're going.

As we begin seeing more and more of the physical signs of aging, we may start recognizing and assessing our own mortality. This feeling that time is somehow running out may cause us to begin thinking about how our life has played out so far and what we want to accomplish with whatever time we have left. This can lead us to realize that we have goals that we never achieved or abandoned along the way. We might feel a sense of dissatisfaction with what we have achieved. We may be realizing that jobs and relationships we've had no longer serve us.

Our children are either on the cusp of becoming independent or are already grown. We're finding ourselves with empty nests for the first time in 18 years or more.

Other people may have expectations of what we should be doing or how we should behave (or dress, or do our hair or makeup) because we have reached a certain age. And these ideas might not fit with how we feel on the inside or what makes us feel confident and the most like our true self.

Midlife is only a crisis if we focus on the endings portion. As Semisonic told us way back in 1998 - "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Midlife isn't the end! You're not too old. And it's not too late.

You still have an opportunity to rediscover that dream or goal you once had and look into chasing it. Or make some new ones!

Having grown children means not having to focus our time and energy on their needs. This gives you more time to concentrate on what you want to do. This is YOUR time!

You are under no obligation to do what other people expect! Now is the time to live life as your authentic self. Especially if you haven't been doing it up to this point. Wear the dress. Or the shorts. Or that bathing suit. Grow out your beautiful silver hair - or not! Put on the red lipstick. Or don't wear any makeup.

Figure out what brings you joy and do more of those things!

This chapter of life can feel like a collection of endings. But it can also be a time of new beginnings and opportunities.

Sunday, July 6, 2025

Sunday Inspiration: The One You Wish You Had

Monday, May 5, 2025

Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Anyone remember the song "Oh la la" by Rod Stewart that goes "I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger"? For some reason it was stuck in my head the other day, which got me thinking... what would I tell my younger self if I could get a message back to her?

Here are five things I came up with.

1) Some of the things you'll go through are definitely going to suck. You'll make mistakes. Some big ones. You'll face some challenges. You're going to be hurt. But in the end it will all be ok. You're going to learn from all of it and grow as a result. It's going to make you the woman I am now.

2) Stop trying so hard to fit in. You don't have to like what everyone else likes or do what everyone else does. Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try. You might as well like yourself. (And, by the way, you're pretty damn spectacular.)

3) You're spending so much time worrying about things that don't matter. 99% of the things you're worrying about right now will either never happen, will turn out fine, or won't even matter one way or the other in a couple of years.

4) Travel. Whenever and wherever you can. It doesn't matter if it's an hour or two down the road or across an ocean. Go! Spend the weekends away with your husband. Take the road trips with your sister. When the opportunity comes up for that trip to Japan - take it! Make some memories!

5) Getting older isn't as scary as it seems. In fact, it can actually be pretty great. Being in your teens and 20s is fun. But being in your 50s is so much more fulfilling. Life doesn't end at a certain age. It only ends when you stop getting older. So quit dreading every year that passes and start embracing them. We're having so much fun now!

What would you tell your younger self?

Monday, January 6, 2025

Aging Gracefully - or Not

If you follow the midlife crowd - in particularly midlife women - on Instagram like I do, you see a lot of talk about "aging gracefully". You'll see both positive and negative opinions about this term. I have some strong feelings about it myself.

But recently it has had me doing a lot of thinking about what exactly "aging gracefully" means. Who gets to decide what "aging gracefully" is??

I decided to go to the experts - women in midlife. I put the call out to women on Instagram and Threads asking what "aging gracefully" means to them. Here's what I found out...

Aging gracefully means something a little different to each of us. For one woman that might mean coloring her hair. While for another it means embracing her silvers strands. One might decide to go makeup free, while her friend enjoys using it. A woman might settle in to a cozy quiet lifestyle, or head out to travel and adventure.

Some women don't care for the term "aging gracefully" and even actively push back against it.

"Absolutely no idea and no plans to find out." - the_wonky_one

For some women, "aging gracefully" means embracing this stage of life and all the changes it brings.

"Aging gracefully is simply being comfortable in your own skin. Even if that means extra weight, some grey hair, some extra lines. It means taking all those things and rocking them with confidence 😊 Wear the short skirt or the leather pants, or the sweats 😹 Make peace with the laugh lines that were earned by expressing your joy. Eat the croissant, chase it with a glass of champagne 🥂 and celebrate the wins. You’ve arrived 🩷" - Mercy DeSimone

"For me … it means not trying too hard to be something I’m not, not chasing *someone else’s* idea of beauty and accepting - no EMBRACING - who I am right now and living my best life. And yes - that includes “being healthy” - but as a reflection of actual health status, not some bullshit, patriarchy dog whistle for looking like a teenager." - dulcieanne88

One common theme that came up over and over again was loving yourself, doing what brings you joy and makes you feel the most like yourself.

"Giving grace to myself (and the women around me) to do what feels right- as it relates to the skin I’m in and what I put out (create)." - therealchiclife

"To me, aging gracefully is aging on your own terms. Doing what makes you happy and ignoring ridiculous societal constraints… you want to dye your hair? Do it. Want to go grey? Do it. Want to wear a mini skirt at 54 (my legs have aged well 😉…) do it! Want to start a new career or just read romances on the beach? Do it. Aging gracefully is doing what makes you feel good and makes your heart happy!" - tbh519

"Basically being true to myself " - chairman_pink_

And maybe that's what "aging gracefully" truly means - living this stage of life on your own terms. Whether that means coloring your hair, or letting your silvers sparkle. Wearing the makeup that makes you happy, or embracing your natural beauty. Wearing comfy casual clothes, or dressing to the nines.

As for me - i think that "aging gracefully" means doing the things that bring you joy, being true to yourself, and honoring what makes you - You!

Leave a comment and tell me what "aging gracefully" means to you!

Monday, July 22, 2024

A Midlife Woman's Manifesto

Re: Women in Midlife

We are no longer giving in and giving up just because we have reached a certain number of years. We are still thriving and enjoying all that life has to offer. We are constantly discovering new things - both about ourselves and about the world around us.

We are defying expectations and redefining the term "age appropriate". We have spent the past 40-50+ years figuring out our personal style and what makes us feel good when we put it on. We're not going to change that now to fit into the box of what anyone else believes someone our age should be wearing.

We'll wear our hair short, mid-length, or long. We'll wear a full face of makeup - or none at all. We'll regularly color our hair - our we may let our silver strands shine.

We're tired of playing a game we can't win. We're tired of being told we are either trying to cling to youth and should learn to "grow old gracefully" - or we're "letting ourselves go." So, from now on, we're doing what makes us feel most like our true selves.

We're no longer being silent about perimenopause and menopause. We're sharing our experiences - the good and bad. We're advocating for better treatments and healthcare in these stages of life for ourselves and for the generations of women coming up behind us.

We are showing up, showing off, being seen, and making sure our voices are heard. Get used to it.