You're Never Too Old to Start

Today, I start what once seemed like a dream job.

I questioned myself at every step of this new opportunity. I feared that I was too old to start something new. I worried that I was woefully unqualified.  I wondered whether I should simply stay where I was comfortable instead of risking disappointment. But despite all those doubts, I took a chance on myself - and today, I officially begin my journey as a library assistant. 

To some people, it may seem like just a job. But for me, it's proof that dreams don't have an expiration date.

This experience has reminded me of something many midlife women need to hear: it's never too late to pursue the dream that's been living quietly in your heart. Your age does not determine what's possible. If anything, the years have given you wisdom, resilience, and strength that you didn't have before.

If you're a woman in midlife, chances are you've spent years putting other people first. The years fly by, and then we start to believe that we missed our chance. We tell ourselves we should have started ten years ago. We convince ourselves that we're no longer relevant.  We're not young enough. We don't have enough experience. It becomes easier and easier to believe that we don't have what it takes and that opportunity has passed us by.  So many of us spend years talking ourselves out of new possibilities because we think we're "too old."

But who decided that?

Every day, women prove that reinvention has no age limit. At 40, 50, 60 years old, and beyond, they are starting businesses, earning degrees, discovering creative talents, and pursuing passions they thought were out of reach. Not because it's easy. Not because the timing is perfect. But because they finally decide to stop letting age make their decisions.

This opportunity to work as a Library Assistant didn't come into my life when I expected it to. It arrived after years of self-doubt, second-guessing, and wondering whether I was capable of pursuing something new. And yet, here I am. Because I pushed through all the doubt and anxiety and took a chance on myself. 

I believe if someone went back 40 or 50 years and told little me that one day many years in the future she would be working in a library, she would be tickled pink by the idea.  And I also believe that future me will thank me for taking the chance and filling out that job application even as the voices in my head whispered that I was too old and unqualified.

The woman you've always wanted to be is still waiting for you. Take the chance.  Believe in yourself.  Pursue the dream. 

I'm living proof that it's not too late to start a new chapter. 

Your story isn't over.  It's just one decision away from getting interesting.

Aging Isn't One-Size-Fits-All

Aging is a deeply personal experience. We each journey through life with our own experiences, values, and beliefs. These shape how we think and feel about the aging process.  Instead of critiquing how others navigate it, what if we chose respect, support, and allowing every woman the freedom to age on her own terms?

Recently, I saw SO many social media posts criticizing Madonna for dressing and behaving in what some people feel is inappropriate for her age while appearing onstage at Glastonbury. Within days of that wave of criticism, there was an article that came out ridiculing Cameron Diaz because she has apparently forgone cosmetic procedures and is choosing to age "naturally".  

Aging for women seems to be a no‑win situation. We’re expected to look youthful but ridiculed if we try too hard. If we choose to age "naturally" with no cosmetic procedures or dying our hair to hide the grays, then we're letting ourselves go. We're made to feel invisible yet still judged for everything from our appearance to how we act. All this keeps us constantly second‑guessing ourselves and feeling as though we're never getting it right.

The worst part is how, all too often, the harshest critics of how older women act, look, or dress are OTHER women. Ladies, we have to do and be better! 

If someone else is choosing to age in a way you wouldn't consider for yourself, that's her prerogative. We should each be allowed to age in whatever way is comfortable for us. Whether that's dying our hair or letting our silvers shine. Having a few procedures or deciding to age naturally. Staying active and taking risks or choosing to settle into a quieter lifestyle. Wearing fun, colorful, or  offbeat outfits or dressing in a more modest and subdued way.  

How another woman chooses to live her own midlife and beyond has no bearing or effect on your own. And if it does, maybe we need to examine that on a personal level instead of being so openly judgemental about it.

Rather than criticizing, let's support and lift each other up for expressing our individuaity and being our authentic selves. Or at the very least, remember the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say; don't say anything."

Finding Joy in Midlife

As you journey through the season of Midlife, do you ever find yourself feeling as if you're clinging to old expectations or a  version of that no longer fits. Do you feel like you've lost your sparkle? It doesn't have to be thay way!  Midlife can be a season of rediscovery, growth, and joy. 

After decades spent focusing on raising a family, having a career, and all the other responsibilities you managed - this is your chance to rediscover what lights you up and to create space for joy.  In this post, I’m sharing six simple ways to help you live a joy-filled midlife that is true to who you are today.

Stop chasing who you think you're supposed to be:  Let go of old expectations and rewrite what a meaningful, joyful life looks like for you today.

Do what feeds your spirit: Whether it’s hobbies you left behind or new passions calling your name. Dance. Sing. Paint, draw, or write. Make the art. Do the crafts. Pull out those roller skates. What ever makes you smile, laugh, relax, or feel like a kid again.  Do that.

Surround yourself with the right people: Find the people who make you feel seen, appreciated, and supported. The ones that let you be fully yourself. Spend less time with the draining folks. The ones that cause you to guard what you say or how you act. 

Get comfortable with saying "No":   Let go of any people-pleasing tendencies you have. Stop going places or doing things out of obligation or because you think you should.  Create space for more joy, rest, and clarity.

Stay curious: Never stop learning.  That might look like reading about subjects that interest you, taking a class of some sort, visiting museums or historical sites, or traveling. 

Practice gratitude: That could mean keeping a gratitude journal, spending a few moments when you first wake up or just before you go to sleep thinking about what you are thankful for, or being more present and aware of the joys and blessings in each day.

It doesn't have to be complicated. Start small. Pick one thing that makes you smile, create one boundary that brings peace, one moment to savor gratitude. Over time, these choices add up to a life that feels vibrant and joyful. You deserve that. So go ahead - dance, laugh, learn, and live fully. Your best chapters are still ahead!

What No One Told Me About Menopause: It's Itchy

This post is meant to share what I have learned about menopause based on my own experience. It is in no way intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new healthcare regimen. Never disregard medical advice or delay seeking help because of something you read on this website.

No one warned most of us that perimenopause could make our skin feel like it’s crawling. Just when we thought we had a handle on the hot flashes, mood swings, and sleep struggles, along comes the relentless itch. It’s not just dry skin—it’s that maddening, can’t-sit-still kind of itch that shows up on your arms, legs, scalp, or even in places you’d never expect. If you’ve been scratching your head (literally) wondering what’s going on, you’re definitely not alone.

Estrogen plays an important role in the production of natural oils and collagen. Dropping estrogen during perimenopause causes a reduction in collagen and oils causing thinner and drier skin.

Be gentle with your skin during this season of life.  Limit the time you spend in baths or the shower and keep the water as cool as your comfort level allows. Use gentle, fragrance-free soap or cleansers. Moisturize your skin with nourishing lotions or creams with ingredients like niacinamide and ceramides.  Stay well hydrated. Avoid excessive alcohol use. If the itching is severe or persistent- talk to your doctor about finding relief.

For some women, it's not just a simple itch. It's a tingling sensation - as if bugs are crawling on your skin.  And yes, it is just as creepy feeling as it sounds.  This sensation is a common occurrence during perimenopause, but it can be a symptom of other things - from a side effect of some medications to anxiety. So, if you are experiencing this buggy feeling, it's best to discuss it with your medical professional.

The scalp can be particularly sensitive to these changes due to the large number of oil glands in the area which become less active during perimenopause.   This can cause not only an itchy scalp, but dry and brittle hair. Using a moisturizer shampoo and conditioner, avoiding sulfates and other irritating ingredients, using leave-in scalp treatments, and staying well hydrated may help to lessen these symptoms. 

For many women, one of the most surprising symptoms that occurs during perimenopause is itchy ears.  Declining estrogen affects the moisture levels in mucus membranes and can lead to itching in both the inner and outer ear.  The skin of the ear canal is especially sensitive and all these changes can make it more prone to dryness and itching.  You can try a gentle moisturizer on the outer ear area, but take care not to get it inside the ear canal. If the itching is intense or painful, talk with your doctor about lubricating ear drops, topical treatments, or other options for relief. 

The persistent itchiness of perimenopause and menopause, while frustrating, is a common and manageable symptom. Listening to your body and seeking guidance when needed is key.  

Have you experienced itching during perimenopause or menopause? 

Sunday Inspiration: Woman

 

Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Anyone remember the song "Oh la la" by Rod Stewart that goes "I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger"?  For some reason it was stuck in my head the other day, which got me thinking...  what would I tell my younger self if I could get a message back to her?

Here are five things I came up with.

1) Some of the things you'll go through are definitely going to suck.  You'll make mistakes.  Some big ones.  You'll face some challenges. You're going to be hurt. But in the end it will all be ok. You're going to learn from all of it and grow as a result. It's going to make you the woman I am now.

2) Stop trying so hard to fit in. You don't have to like what everyone else likes or do what everyone else does. Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try. You might as well like yourself. (And, by the way, you're pretty damn spectacular.)

3) You're spending so much time worrying about things that don't matter. 99% of the things you're worrying about right now will either never happen, will turn out fine, or won't even matter one way or the other in a couple of years.  

4) Travel. Whenever and wherever you can.  It doesn't matter if it's an hour or two down the road or across an ocean. Go! Spend the weekends away with your husband. Take the road trips with your sister. When the opportunity comes up for that trip to Japan - take it! Make some memories!

5) Getting older isn't as scary as it seems.  In fact, it can actually be pretty great. Being in your teens and 20s is fun.  But being in your 50s is so much more fulfilling. Life doesn't end at a certain age.  It only ends when you stop getting older. So quit dreading every year that passes and start embracing them.  We're having so much fun now! 

What would you tell your younger self?

Sunday Inspirations: The Strongest Actions

Aging Gracefully - or Not

If you follow the midlife crowd - in particularly midlife women - on Instagram like I do, you see a lot of  talk about "aging gracefully".  You'll see both positive and negative opinions about this term.  I have some strong feelings about it myself. 

But recently it has had me doing a lot of thinking about what exactly "aging gracefully" means. Who gets to decide what "aging gracefully" is?? 

I decided to go to the experts - women in midlife.  I put the call out to women on Instagram and Threads asking what "aging gracefully" means to them. Here's what I found out...

Aging gracefully means something a little different to each of us. For one woman that might mean coloring her hair. While for another it means embracing her silvers strands.  One might decide to go makeup free, while her friend enjoys using it. A woman might settle in to a cozy quiet lifestyle, or head out to travel and adventure.

Some women don't care for the term "aging gracefully" and even actively push back against it.

"Absolutely no idea and no plans to find out." - the_wonky_one

For some women, "aging gracefully" means embracing this stage of life and all the changes it brings. 

"Aging gracefully is simply being comfortable in your own skin. Even if that means extra weight, some grey hair, some extra lines. It means taking all those things and rocking them with confidence 😊 Wear the short skirt or the leather pants, or the sweats 😹 Make peace with the laugh lines that were earned by expressing your joy. Eat the croissant, chase it with a glass of champagne 🥂 and celebrate the wins. You’ve arrived 🩷" - Mercy DeSimone

"For me … it means not trying too hard to be something I’m not, not chasing *someone else’s* idea of beauty and accepting - no EMBRACING - who I am right now and living my best life. And yes - that includes “being healthy” - but as a reflection of actual health status, not some bullshit, patriarchy dog whistle for looking like a teenager." - dulcieanne88

One common theme that came up over and over again was loving yourself, doing what brings you joy and makes you feel the most like yourself.

"Giving grace to myself (and the women around me) to do what feels right- as it relates to the skin I’m in and what I put out (create)." - therealchiclife

"To me, aging gracefully is aging on your own terms. Doing what makes you happy and ignoring ridiculous societal constraints… you want to dye your hair? Do it. Want to go grey? Do it. Want to wear a mini skirt at 54 (my legs have aged well 😉…) do it! Want to start a new career or just read romances on the beach? Do it. Aging gracefully is doing what makes you feel good and makes your heart happy!" - tbh519

"Basically being true to myself " - chairman_pink_ 

And maybe that's what "aging gracefully" truly means - living this stage of life on your own terms. Whether that means coloring your hair, or letting your silvers sparkle. Wearing the makeup that makes you happy, or embracing your natural beauty. Wearing comfy casual clothes, or dressing to the nines.  

As for me - i think that "aging gracefully" means doing the things that bring you joy, being true to yourself, and honoring what makes you - You! 

Leave a comment and tell me what "aging gracefully" means to you!

A Midlife Woman's Manifesto

Re: Women in Midlife

We are no longer giving in and giving up just because we have reached a certain number of years.  We are still thriving and enjoying all that life has to offer.  We are constantly discovering new things - both about ourselves and about the world around us.

We are defying expectations and redefining the term "age appropriate".  We have spent the past 40-50+ years figuring out our personal style and what makes us feel good when we put it on.  We're not going to change that now to fit into the box of what anyone else believes someone our age should be wearing.  

We'll wear our hair short, mid-length, or long.  We'll wear a full face of makeup - or none at all.  We'll regularly color our hair - our we may let our silver strands shine. 

We're tired of playing a game we can't win.  We're tired of being told we are either trying to cling to youth and should learn to "grow old gracefully" - or we're "letting ourselves go." So, from now on, we're doing what makes us feel most like our true selves.

We're no longer being silent about perimenopause and menopause.  We're sharing our experiences - the good and bad.  We're advocating for better treatments and healthcare in these stages of life for ourselves and for the generations of women coming up behind us.  

We are showing up, showing off, being seen, and making sure our voices are heard.  Get used to it.

Beauty on a Budget

 I first discovered e.l.f. cosmetics several years ago. At the time, they were a little known, low cost brand that did a few things very well. And there were a couple of items that quickly became favorites of mine.

Over the last couple of years, it seems as if e.l.f. cosmetics has been releasing so many good things.  They have several products that are comparable to, or even better than, similar products at much higher price points. And while the newer items do cost more than the $1 to $3, I used to pay in the early 20-teens, they are still on the less expensive end of pricing for beauty products. 

I now have a selection of favorite e.l.f. products in my makeup bag with enough variety that I can create a full face. And be very the results.

Some of my personal e.i.f. favorites include:

• Power Grip Primer + Niacinamide 
• Camo CC Cream
• Instant Lift Brow Pencil 
• Wow Brow eyebrow gel
• Bite Size Eyeshadow 
• Expert Liquid Eyeliner 
• Putty Color Correcting Eye Brightener
• Putty Bronzer
• Camo Liquid Blush
• Lash 'n Roll Mascara 
• Stay All Night Setting Mist
• O Face Satin Lipstick 

Finding an e.l.f. foundation that works for was a journey.  A lot of people really love their Flawless Satin foundation. I like the way it looks freshly applied,  but it didn't hold up well for me.  The Camo CC Cream works so much better for my skin. Applies and blends like a dream. Great coverage. Lasts all day.  And has been spf 30.

The Instant Lift Eyebrow Pencil is a long time favorite.  It may have been the first e.l.f. product I ever fell for.  I always keep it in my makeup stash and reach for it again and again. 

The Camo Liquid Blush is so good. It blends easily and lasts better than many other liquid and cream blushes I've tried.  One warning  - they are incredibly pigmented.  Use a lot less than you think you'll actually need!

The Last All Night Setting Mist is my current favorite.  I like the fine Mist spray. And it performs better than a much more expensive brand that I have used in the past.   

Other e.l.f. favorites of mine not pictured: the Mad for Matte eyeshadow palette,  Hydrating Camo Concealer, and Lip Plumping Gloss.

E.l.f. cosmetics gets bonus points with me for being certified cruelty-free! 

This isn't a paid post. I didn't receive any freebies from the company.  Every item was bought and paid for by me. I am just a fan who uses these products on a regular basis.

Have you tried e.l.f. cosmetics? What are your favorite items?