Showing posts with label aging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aging. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 16, 2026

Double Standards

There’s a strong double standard in how we talk about aging. Men are often allowed to grow older in whatever way they choose, while women face constant judgment. This imbalance influences our careers, our confidence, and how we, as women, see ourselves as we move toward and through this stage of life. 

Let's be honest... when Bruce Springsteen appears onstage performing just as he has for the past several decades, you don't see articles about how he's trying too hard or desperately clinging to his lost youth.  

When Lenny Kravitz regularly dresses in chest and/or stomach baring tops and skintight leather pants, he doesn't appear in online articles about how he needs to dress more age appropriate. 

When male celebrities like George Clooney embrace their gray hair they're considered a "silver fox", not shamed for letting themselves go.

You don’t see headlines questioning their relevance or suggesting they step aside for someone younger. Instead, they’re praised for staying vibrant and confident. But when women do the same thing suddenly that confidence and vitality is reframed as desperation and denial. 

This not-so-subtle messaging affects how we perceive other women; but more importantly - how we see ourselves! It can inhibit us from fully embracing the experience of getting older.  It can leave us constantly questioning ourselves and how we choose to age.

I'm here to tell you that we don't have to make ourselves smaller or fade into the background. We don't have to age in a certain way to meet anyone else's expectations. We can, and should, experience this stage of life to the fullest. On our own terms, out loud, and without judgment. 





Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Closer to 50

Last week was my "half birthday".  You know, 6 months between one birthday and the next.  (Apparently, for some people that 's a thing.)  Even though I don't normally observe half birthdays - this seems like a good time to give an update on how I'm doing on my "Before 50"  list! 



 
1.  Finally lose that extra weight that I have been carrying

2.  Visit at least 1 new destination.

3.  Read at least 5 books I've never read before from this list
So far I have read:
  •   Anna Karenina
  •   Fahrenheit 451
  
4.  Be vegetarian for a month
We did this for two weeks, rather than a month.  I think the Man of the House and I could have gone the full month, and may still give that a go later this year.  But after going along for two weeks, the Male Offspring was ready for some meat-based protein.  
  
5.  Take one of the specialty tours at Biltmore
  
6.  Join a crochet/knitting group

 7.  Learn to meditate
I used "The Basics" on Headspace to help me get started. After that I switched to an app called Insight Timer for another series on meditation basics and now use it as a timer for most of my meditation sessions. I like that the timer includes options for nice ambient sounds and bells. Occasionally, I use a Christian meditation app, Reflect, for some Scripture focused meditation.   I practice meditating several days a week and I am really enjoying the quiet time to give my mind and spirit a chance to clear out and refresh.  
  
8.  See a play (or two. I adore live theatre and don't know why I don't go more often)
  
9.  Get my office organized once and for all

10.  Take a yoga class

11.  Get a really good haircut by a curly hair specialist

12.  Go to a movie by myself

13.  Go to bed super early and get up super early for one week.  Or a  month.
I tried to do this last week, but life got in the way and I never seemed to make it into bed until 10pm every night.  So, now this week is the week!

14.  Send postcards whenever I go out of town or visit somewhere new

15.  Overcome my fear of heights

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Before 50

Last week I officially celebrated my very last 40-something birthday.  Which means that in slightly under one year, I will turn the big 5-0!  It's hard to believe that I am facing down a whole half century of life.

Birthdays always make me reflect on the past and dream about the future.  This one even more than usual. I've never created a "bucket list".  In all honesty - for some reason the term "bucket list" makes my skin crawl a little bit.  I don't know why.  Just does.  Maybe it seems a little morbid.  I'm not slamming anyone with a bucket list.  If you have one - more power to ya!  I just don't. 

I want to make the very most of this last year of my 40's, and face 50 with joy and excitement for whatever the next half of my life may hold.  Which led me to make a list of 15 things I would like to do, see, or accomplish over the next year before I turn 50 .  Some of those "someday I should" things, a few things that scare me a little and a couple of "well, why not" things.





  1. Finally lose that extra weight that I have been carrying.  
  2. Visit at least 1 new destination
  3. Read at least 5 books I've never read before from this list 
  4. Be vegetarian for a month
  5. Take one of the specialty tours at Biltmore
  6. Join a crochet/knitting group
  7. Learn to meditate
  8. See a play ( or two. I adore live theatre and don't know why I don't go more often)
  9. Get my office organized once and for all
  10. Take a yoga class
  11. Get a really good haircut by a curly hair specialist
  12. Go to a movie by myself
  13. Go to bed super early and get up super early for one week.  Or a  month.
  14. Send postcards whenever I go out of town or visit somewhere new
  15. Overcome my fear of heights




Friday, February 20, 2015

Week's End

I'd say something about how it's finally Friday, but truthfully it feels as if this week went by very quickly.

pubicdomainpictures.net

Most of them (the weeks - days - months) seem to whiz right by these days.  I think it might be a symptom of getting older.

Another possible sign - feeling like I could use a nap almost every afternoon. And being ready for bed by 9 at night.


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Monday, March 4, 2013

And Then I Look In The Mirror



I keep saying I still feel 26 years old. 

In fact, I often say I am now (and always will be) 26 years old.

I still feel like I did when I was 26 much of the time. 

And then I look in the mirror...


Sometimes I'm still shocked when I don't see my 20 something year old face looking back at me. 

But the truth is that somewhere in the blink of an eye that 26 year old young woman was 17 years - and an entirely different person - ago.

This woman is most definitely not 26. She has a few more lines across the forehead, and is starting to notice a few around the eyes and mouth. She is carrying more weight than she did at 26. She has more aches and pains that that 26 year old ever knew. She has an occassional hot flash. 

She also has another child.  And a grandchild.  She has years more of life's lessons behind her.  She is older.  She is wiser.  And in many ways better. 

So, while it's OK to still feel 26 - it's also OK to be that older woman in the mirror.  She's pretty great too.

I wonder if when I'm 60 I'll be saying I still feel 43?  And then I'll look in the mirror...