In The Middle of My Mess

I know that it's true for many of us when I say - the past few weeks have been stressful.  Heck... I could change the word weeks to months or years and the same would still hold true.  Am I right, or am I right? Yeh... I'm right.

There's the usual pandemic, political, and natural disaster madness going on in our world that we are all having to cope with.  Besides that, over the past couple of weeks, I have also experienced the following:  I had a cold, which of course I worried might be Covid,  a very sick dog, a reminder from the facility where I get my mammograms that I need to go have a followup to monitor some calcifications, the discovery of my mother's ovarian tumors, a disagreement with one of my sisters, my mother's surgery, her stay in the hospital, more over-the-top family drama, and all while my monthly cycles have gone completely berserk.  

Y'all... I'm just tired.  

I would like to have just a week or two when I don't have to worry or feel stressed about much of anything. I guess that's not how life works though - is it?

The good news is that no matter how out of control, chaotic or uncertain things may seem - I know that God has a plan and that it is all under His control.  In the middle of my exhaustion, my anxiety, and my fears - I know that He is working it all together for good.  

Does that stop me from being afraid or feeling worried?  I wish I could say "Yes, of course". But it doesn't.  I often need a reminder of His goodness and His faithfulness.  And even then... sometimes... more often than I care to admit... I still have doubts.  I still have anxiety.  I still have fears. Because I am human.

Fortunately, God knows this about me.  He understands and He meets me right where I am in the middle of my messiness.  Which is a good thing. Because life gets pretty messy sometimes.