That I'm not enough. Not pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, strong enough, or good enough.
Always thinking, feeling, believing that there's just "not enough". Believing somehow that if someone else is getting something: time, attention, affection, praise, love, readers, sales, friends, a great job - whatever; somehow there won't be enough left for me.
That I am not enough to deserve or to earn the things I want, or need, for myself has led to a lot of self doubt, resentment, anger, and jealousy.
Instead of grabbing the abundant life, I allowed myself to believe was one of scarcity. Like Eve, surrounded by a life-filled beautiful garden, I found my attention drawn over and over to what I felt I couldn't have. The cup always half empty.
It's an ugly truth. One I didn't - I don't - want to look at. But there it is. And the only way it's ever going to change is if I take a long, hard look at it. Examine it for what it really is. Stop looking for the empty holes, look instead to the promises God made about the abundance He has planned for us:
That He came so that we can have full lives (John 10:10)
That He has plans to prosper us. To give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)
That if we lean on Him, He can do immeasurably more than we can ask for - or even imagine! (Ephesians 3:20-21)
That our confidence will be richly rewarded (Hebrews 10:35)
If you are like me, and have allowed yourself to buy into the lie of scarcity for too long, it's time to let it go. Grab the abundance!