That I'm not enough. Not pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, strong enough, or good enough.
Always thinking, feeling, believing that there's just "not enough". Believing somehow that if someone else is getting something: time, attention, affection, praise, love, readers, sales, friends, a great job - whatever; somehow there won't be enough left for me.
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That I am not enough to deserve or to earn the things I want, or need, for myself has led to a lot of self doubt, resentment, anger, and jealousy.
Instead of grabbing the abundant life, I allowed myself to believe was one of scarcity. Like Eve, surrounded by a life-filled beautiful garden, I found my attention drawn over and over to what I felt I couldn't have. The cup always half empty.
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It's an ugly truth. One I didn't - I don't - want to look at. But there it is. And the only way it's ever going to change is if I take a long, hard look at it. Examine it for what it really is. Stop looking for the empty holes, look instead to the promises God made about the abundance He has planned for us:
That He came so that we can have full lives (John 10:10)
That He has plans to prosper us. To give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)
That if we lean on Him, He can do immeasurably more than we can ask for - or even imagine! (Ephesians 3:20-21)
That our confidence will be richly rewarded (Hebrews 10:35)
If you are like me, and have allowed yourself to buy into the lie of scarcity for too long, it's time to let it go. Grab the abundance!
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I have lived with this and I am far older than you. I lay it down and pick it back up until the burden is too heavy. Then I give it to the Lord for a time. I want to leave it at the foot of the Cross. Thank you for reminding me to face it once again and then leave it for Jesus to carry and rid me of it for He loves me as I am. God created me to be the beautiful person He created!
ReplyDeleteThank you sooooo much, Beckey.
Visiting from Holley's.
Caring through Christ, ~ linda
This is a good word! Happy to be by you at Unite.
ReplyDeleteDear sweet Beckey, may we always cling to the truth of HIS promises! So glad to be your neighbor at the Wednesday Prayer Girls Link-up! (Song of Songs 4:7 NIV- You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.) Infinite blessings to you, Love! :-)
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written, dear Beckey! You have offered some sweet encouragement to us and I truly appreciate it. Thanks for linking up with Roses of Inspiration. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWE are enough and richly blessed, living in favor. Beautiful post!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.robincharmagne.com/blog