Day 13: Love fights fair
Conflict in marriage is inevitable. Even the closest couples have differences.
We are all imperfect people. The closeness of marriage is going to expose, and perhaps amplify, all those imperfections - bad habits, hurts, fears, etc.
This isn't about avoiding conflict in marriage. It's about dealing with it in a healthier, more constructive way.
We can be our absolute worst selves during conflict. Our most judgemental self. Our most selfish. Our rudest, most inflexible, most unwilling, most prideful self. In the midst of conflict, we can make some very bad choices and do our marriage, and ourselves a lot of damage. (anyone else flashing back to a few of the previous dares?)
Love is the protection against that destruction.
Love reminds us that our marriage is too important to destroy.
Love reminds us that our love for our spouse is more important that whatever we are fighting about.
Love helps us use conflict to build bridges - not burn them down.
The Love Dare suggests that for conflict to be healthy and have a positive outcome there need to be boundaries. "We" boundaries, and "Me" boundaries.
"We" boundaries are rules you both agree on which apply to any disagreement or altercation.
"Me" boundaries are rules you personally practice.
TODAY'S DARE: TALK WITH YOUR SPOUSE ABOUT ESTABLISHING HEALTHY RULES OF ENGAGEMENT. IF YOUR MATE IS NOT READY FOR THIS, THEN WRITE OUT YOUR OWN PERSONAL RULES TO "FIGHT" BY. RESOLVE TO ABIDE BY THEM WHEN THE NEXT DISAGREEMENT OCCURS.
"ME" Boundaries:
1) Listen before speaking
2) Speak kindly and honestly - focus on keeping voice volume down.
3) Confront the issue honestly - don't stuff feelings.
Be of the same mind toward one another. ~ Romans 12:16
I love the idea of talking about the rules of engagement during peaceful times. I think I will do this today.
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