Tuesday, February 19, 2013

My Love Dare: Day 18

“How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.” ~ Proverbs 3:13



Day 18: Love seeks to understand

When something interests us – really interests us – we find out as much as we can about it.

We read about it.

We practice at it.

We watch TV shows, movies, and documentaries related to it.

We pay close attention whenever the subject comes up.

Do you do the same for your spouse?

Think back… When you were first falling for your spouse, you probably wanted to know everything about him. His likes, dislikes, hobbies, habits, dreams. You wanted to hear all his stories.

After years together. You’ve heard those same stories over and over. You are probably less interested.

There is always more to learn!

Keep studying. Make a commitment to try to figure out why your spouse responds the way they do to certain things. Why they like the things they like. Try to find out more about all those things you “just don’t understand”.

Ask questions. If there is one thing I have learned from watching years and years of Sesame Street episodes: The best way to learn something is by asking questions. If there is something you want to know about your spouse, or something you don’t understand about him: why not just ask?

Listen: Really listen. Hear what your spouse is saying.

Ask God for discernment: God gives wisdom. He will show you what you need to know to better understand and love your spouse.

TODAY’S DARE: PREPARE A SPECIAL DINNER AT HOME, JUST FOR THE TWO OF YOU. THE DINER CAN BE AS NICE AS YOU PREFER. FOCUS THIS TIME ON GETTING TO KNOW YOUR SPOUSE BETTER, PERHAPS IN AREAS YOU’VE RARELY TALKED ABOUT. DETERMINE TO MAKE IT AN ENJOYABLE EVENING FOR YOU AND YOUR MATE.

This was a tough one. With our little extended family around, schedules of family game nights, activities, projects around the house, etc – trying to schedule a quiet dinner for just the two of us seemed overwhelming to me. Yes. I let the enemy whisper in my ear and try to convince me it was impossible.

However, the Man of the House and I did schedule a special dinner out for the two of use last week for Valentine’s Day. We planned it for the day before Valentine’s, knowing the restaurant would be less crowded. I took the opportunity to try to talk with him, ask questions, and really listen to him.
I also realized that this dare doesn’t have to be shouldn’t be a one night thing.

I know sometimes when the Man of the House is talking, I tune out.  My eyes glaze over and pretty soon he starts sounding like the teacher from a Peanuts cartoon (you know… “wah wah wah waaah”). Or – I am so busy thinking about what I am going to say in response I’m not really hearing him.

It’s time to start paying closer attention. 

To ask questions. 

To hang on every word.

And let him know he really does interest me.

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