Can I Have Some Crackers With My Whine?

Disclaimer: Today’s post is one big whine-fest. You have been warned…


I don’t feel great today.

My stomach feels sore – almost a bruised kind of feeling. Like I had someone using it as a punching bag all night.

And it’s making some craaaaaazy noises.

I feel nauseous off and on, but haven’t had any vomiting or anything. And let’s keep praying it doesn’t come to that. There are few things I dread in this life more than that. (doing it myself or witnessing someone else having to go through it.)

I have no appetite. Although I have forced myself to eat some Greek yogurt and saltines.

No fever. Although I haven’t really checked. There is a possibility I might have last night. At one point I woke up burning up and sweating a little. At the time I just figured the room was too warm or I was experiencing one of those middle of the night hot flashes that sometimes occur since I hit a certain age.

So, that’s today. I’m functioning. Trying to tidy up the kitchen. Doing some laundry. A little cleaning up in the bedroom.

Maybe I can convince the grand baby that a shared nap is a good plan for this afternoon while his mommy is at class.

No Time for That

I don't feel good.  (well?  whatever...) 

My head hurts.  I'm congested.  My sinuses burn.  My throat is scratchy.  I'm feeling a bit nauseous.  And I'm just generally achy and tired.  What I really want is to lie down and take a nice long nap.

Here's the thing - I don't have time for that.

I have family coming into town in the next 48 hours.  I need to finish getting the house cleaned up.  It is in no way, shape, or form "guest ready".  Carpets need cleaning.  Bathrooms need cleaning.  Towels (and other laundry) need washed.  Floors need swept.

I also have to get the male offspring to guitar lessons after school.  AND he has a violin concert tonight.  Somewhere in there I have to feed him and the rest of the family some dinner.

If I crawl up under the covers and hide, would all the to-do list somehow magically be done when I crawl back out? 

Yeh, I didn't think so.

Doubt and Anxiety

Doubt and anxiety are eating me alive today.


I thought quitting my paying job was the right decision.  It wasn't a choice I made lightly.  I agonized over it.  I prayed and prayed over it.  I thought that was the right path for the next phase of my life. I would stay home, have my little Etsy shop, take care of my family and manage my home - and all would be right with the world. It all seemed so clear.

Now things are fuzzy.

As we look into the face of expense after unexpected expense my anxiety increases. Queen B's Busy Work isn't buzzing, it's crawling along on it's best days. The items I took to the consignment store still sit on display, unsold. Instead of the bright sunny future I pictured as I made plans, things are looking tight, grim and bleak.

I have a gnawing, nagging, nauseous feeling in my gut. I am doubting myself and the choices I have made in the past year.  I feel guilty for not having a steady income coming in like I used to. I find myself wondering if I should go apply for a part time job - any part time job.  I am beating myself up for leaving my previous job. 

This isn't the way it was supposed to be.