Past The Doubt

There is faith which is inherited.  Knowing what you know and believing it because it is what you have always been told and shown examples of in life.  When you just believe what you know to be true without question.

Then there is faith born from doubt.  When you have asked the questions.  You have done the searching in the dark and have found the light.

I believe it's not unusual to have questions or to doubt.  We wonder if God cares about us.  We question if we have strayed to far to find our way back to Him.  We doubt His love.  We doubt His grace.  We may even doubt His very existence.

The Man of the House and I both grew up Catholic.  As a young couple identifying ourselves as Catholic, we did all the things we were supposed to do.  We got married in the church.  We attended Mass almost every week and on holy days.  We took communion.  We baptized our children. Sure, there were a few things in the church's teaching which we didn't 100% agree with, but nothing we couldn't live with.

But over time the doubts began to grow. I found myself wondering what (if anything) I did believe.

We stopped going to Mass and attended different churches here and there.  Over time, we became complacent about finding a church and grew fond of our lazy Sundays filled with sleeping in and spending all morning on the couch.  I stopped searching for God's will and began following my own path.

But at some point you look around and realize that what you are doing just isn't working.  You see exactly how far away that path has led you from God and exactly how lost you really are.  You come to the end of yourself and cry out for help.

The good news is that God is always there - loving you and patiently waiting for you to return to Him.  Not to condemn you, but to forgive.  To comfort you.  To give you strength.   To light the path and show you the way.

It's not about the church you attend.  It's not about doing certain things or following some set of man-made rules.  It's not about you at all.  It's about His mercy and grace.  It's about what Christ did up on the cross for each of us.  It's about God's love and greatness.

When you realize that He has the answers you have been looking for; that is the moment you see the light and find your way out of the darkness.  That is where you move past the doubt and find your faith.

You Liebe Me, You Really Liebe Me!

So, I got this here award from Janice's Footsteps....

Which is a pretty cool thing.   It's always nice to get a nod from a fellow blogger!

The Liebster Blog award is for the blogs that have less than 200 followers.  It recognizes the smaller writers, the lovers of reading,   the bloggers sharing little pieces of our lives.

As always happens with these awards, there are questions to be answered and you are required to share facts about yourself.  And you must pass it on to others.  So... 

Janice's Questions for Me:

1. What is the 1st book you fell in love reading? How old were you?  Hmm... Island of the Blue Dolphins.  Read it over and over.  I was... I don't know.. 11 maybe?

2. Describe yourself in 3 words?  Christian, wife, mother


3. Last good deed you did? For whom?  Bought coffee for a friend who was standing in line behind me at the counter.


4. Favorite male character (movies)? Female?  Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara - without a doubt!


5. Worst book ever read? Did you buy it or was it a gift?  I can't think of a really bad one, so I must have blocked it out.  I do remember that the ending of My Sister's Keeper made me so angry that it ruined the entire book for me.


6. When do you usually read? Morning,afternoon, evening, middle of the night?  At night before I fall asleep


7.Book store, delivered to your mailbox, or library?  All of the above!  Plus online for the nook!


8. Paperback or kindle?  Neither!  Nook!


9. Meaning behind your blog name?  I hate all the "Real Housewives of..." shows. THAT is not reality and those are NOT real housewives. 


10. Do you trade books for others or do you hoard them on shelves?  Depends on the book.  Usually I hoard them until I get too many and then I pass some one and donate some to the Library or Goodwill.


11. What is the 1st thing that comes to mind when I say the word "POPSICLE"?  Cherry Popsicle melting onto your hands. 

Eleven Things About Me:

1. I am spending too much time right now wondering "why eleven?  why not ten?  or a dozen?  who came up with eleven?"
2. I love coffee.  And Dr Pepper.  Not together!
3. I do not like onions.  Not even cooked.
4. I hate my thighs.  Ugh...
5. I wish I had pretty long fingernails.
6. I do not like having to make lists of things about myself
7. I should be getting ready to go to a cookout instead of blogging right now
8. I like the smell of Murphy's Oil Soap.
9. When I was a kid I wanted dark hair and green eyes instead of my blond hair and blue eyes
10. Everyone says my daughter looks like me.  I think she looks more like her dad.
11. I am very happy to be done with this list!

The passing on of the award is going to have to wait.  I have to consider who I am giving it to.  And think up my questions for those lucky folks.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

I was recently tagged in a post at Shouldn't Life Be More Than This to participate in a blogger's game. And I decided to play along since it gives me something to post about today rather than having to drag something out of thin air.

The "rules" say I have to tell you eleven random facts about myself, answer a. eye's eleven questions for me (sweetheart that she is - she only gave me eight!), then tag 11 other bloggers to answer my own 11 questions.  So.. here it goes:



11 Random Facts About Me:
1. I don't like onions.  No.  That's not quite true.  I despise onions.  In any shape or form.  I leave them out of any recipe that calls for them. I can't stand the smell of cooking onions.  And the smell of raw onions makes me gag.
2.  In recent years I have developed a very weak stomach.  Lots of things make me nauseous or even give me the dry heaves.  Including thinking about the dry heaves.  So, we're going to move on quickly from this item.
3.  When I was a kid I went through a phase where I was "allergic" to the sun.  Every time I went out in the sun I would break into hives.
4.  I was also allergic to bees and penicillin.
5.  I had to take a break while doing this because the cat used the litter box and stunk up the entire room.  Forcing me to leave until the air cleared. (see #2)
6.  I love being a grandma more than I ever could have imagined!  Even if I am too young for it.
7.  I need a cup of coffee.  Like, NOW.
8.  Or ice cream...
9.  I love peanut butter and Reese's cups.  But am now likely allergic to peanuts in all shapes and forms.
10.  When I was young I wanted to have black hair and green eyes.
11. It was a lot harder to come up with 11 random facts than I thought it would be!

Answers To A. Eye's Questions:
1.  Soy milk or regular milk? Cow's milk - skim. 
2.  Favorite sport to watch? Why?   Football.   I never liked football much until I got together with The Man of the House.  He was a life-long fan, and after spending Sunday afternoons and evenings, Monday nights, and some Saturdays and Thursdays watching with him.  It grew on me.  Then when the Carolina's finally got a team I was hooked!
3.  Sitcoms or reality television?   I suppose this depends on your definition of "reality television".  I have never seen a single episode of Survivor or The Bachelor.  I don't watch shows like the "Real Housewives of" anything, or anything with the Kardashians, or anything on MTV.  (I still mourn the days when "Music TV" used to really play MUSIC videos!  Pretty much all day!)  However I do watch a lot of food shows, and shows like Planet Earth and it's various spin-offs.  Sometimes I'll even watch Deadliest Catch.  And I occasionally find myself watching marathons of  "Say Yes to the Dress"  On my really off days I have gotten sucked into an episode (or 2, or 5) of "Toddlers and Tiaras" or "My Strange Addiction".  4.  Laptop or tablet? Why?  Laptop.  'Cause that's what we have.
5.  Which person has influenced your life the most? Jesus
6.  Which would you most hate to be without, television, computer, or cell phone? I have to say computer. Because as long as I have that I can find stuff to watch and can communicate with others.
7.  Which would you hate to be without, your hair or a body shape you liked?  My hair.
8.  Where would you rather live - high-rise or suburbs? Why?  Suburbs.  I like having a yard.  And I am afraid of heights.

My Questions For:
Janice's Footsteps
Monday Morning Musings
This n That
Just My Thoughts
Everyday Underwear
Coffee and Spellcheck
Feeling Beachie
Winnie's Inky Fingers

AND ANYONE else who wants to answer them in the comments section!!

1.  What is your favorite book?
2.  Favorite sweet treat?
3.  Who would play you in the movie version of your life?
4.  What was your favorite subject to study in school?
5.  What are you grateful for everyday?
6.  Do you still have your tonsils?
7.  If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
8.  Who do you miss the most?
9.  If you could be any fictional character, who would you chose?
10.  What is your favorite sound?
11.  When was the last time you were nervous?