My Love Dare: Day 6

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city. ~ Proverbs 16:32

DAY 6: Love is not irritable

“Love is hard to offend, and quick to forgive.”

How easily do you get irritated and offended?

How easily do you get irritated or offended by your spouse?

If you are like me the answer may be “depends on the day”.  Some days I am quickly hurt or frustrated. Minor events bring on major reactions.  Not exactly a loving response. 
A loving spouse exercises emotional control. They are a joy to live with, not a jerk.

According to The Love Dare, we often become irritable for two main reasons:

1)Stress: we’re all familiar with it. It drains and weakens us. It’s an open door for irritability. Stress can be caused by relational causes such as arguing and bitterness. It can be caused by excesses such as overworking, overspending, or overplaying. It can also be caused by deficiencies such as not enough exercise, nutrition, or rest.

The answer to this is to slow down! Pray through your anxieties instead of taking them out on your spouse. Observe the Sabbath each week to worship and rest. Recharge, refocus, and give a margin to your busy weekly schedule.

2) Selfishness: Insecurity or selfishness can send us spiraling down a road of irritability!

The calming cure for irritability? Love. Love causes us to be grateful. To forgive. To be happy. To prioritize family. Love lowers stress. It brings a response of patience rather than anger or exasperation.

TODAY’S DARE: CHOOSE TODAY TO REACT TO TOUCH CIRCUMSTANCES IN YOUR MARRIAGE IN LOVING WAYS INSTEAD OF WITH IRRITATION. BEGIN BY MAKING A LIST OF AREAS WHERE YOU NEED TO ADD MARGIN TO YOUR SCHEDULE. THEN LIST ANY WRONG MOTIVATIONS THAT YOU NEED TO RELEASE FROM YOUR LIFE.

I made the choice to react in loving ways instead of irritation.  I also realized that it is a work in progress.  I will have to make that choice over and over again.  I may slip up sometimes.  No, I probably will slip up sometimes.  When I do - I have to acknowledge it, apologize for it, and take steps to do better the next time.

Margins:

• Prioritize time for date night
• Allow for relaxing Sunday afternoons with family instead of staying busy with chores/duties.
• Make time for myself each week (exercise, bubble bath, mani/pedi, etc)

Motivations to Release:

• Admiration and attention of others
• Selfishness
• Envy

My Love Dare: Day 3

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. ~ Romans 12:10

Day 3: Love is not selfish

There it was.  The first two days had quietly whispered to me about my selfish nature.  Day three was going to shove it right in my face.

We're all selfish to some extent.  Of course we are.  Today's world tells us it's all about "self". 

My happiness.

My stuff.

My feelings.

My rights.

What I want.

What I deserve.

Selfishness.  It's something we condemn in others.  And justify in ourselves.  I'm just as guilty of this hypocrisy as anyone else. 

Even in moments of generosity or kindness, I can be selfish.  Because I am often looking for the recognition and praise for my actions. 

Scripture calls us to "Do nothing from selfish or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3)
Selfishness... looking out for my own interest rather than the interest of someone else.  Which makes me wonder if that's the same as loving myself more than someone else.  And what kind of message that sends the person I love and have chosen to spend my life with?

TODAY'S DARE: WHATEVER YOU PUT YOUR TIME, ENERGY, AND MONEY INTO WILL BECOME MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU.  IT'S HARD TO CARE FOR SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT INVESTING IN.  ALONG WITH RESTRAINING FROM NEGATIVE COMMENTS, BUY YOUR SPOUSE SOMETHING THAT SAYS "I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY."

This dare concerned me a little.  Since I am no longer working outside the home, I don't really have any disposable income to buy little goodies.  But I did have some Starbucks cards I had received as Christmas gifts.  Now, if you know me - you know I love my coffee.  And Starbucks is one of my very favorite treats.  Because of this it would have been very easy for me to be selfish with my Starbucks cards and keep it for my own enjoyment.  But in the spirit of the dare I offered to get a coffee treat for The Man of the House when we stopped to pick up a few items on the way home from church. 

I also chose to invest some time that afternoon.  The Man of the House was going to the park to fly his r/c plane, and the female offspring was going with to take some pictures with her new camera.  He asked if I wanted to go.  My first reaction was "no".  I wanted to take a nap.  I wanted to do some laundry.  I knew it would be chilly.

I... I... I... 

Looking out for my own interest before those of my spouse.  I put all those "I want" on a shelf and put on my tennis shoes to tag along. 

And ya know what?  We had a nice little time at the park for an hour or so.  (even if it was cold)