Rejoice. Be Patient. Keep Praying.

This Bible verse seems to keep coming at me recently.  Again and again it shows up .  Or maybe it's always been repeating itself - in my morning devotions, in my Instagram and Pinterest feeds,  etc - but I am only now noticing it.

Rejoice.  Be Patient.  Keep praying.

Rejoice.  Celebrate what you have.  Big or small.  Be thankful for all of it.  Even the things that may not typically make you think of celebrating.  Rejoice in the day to day pieces of life.  Find joy in your routines.  Appreciate the things you have and the people in your life.

Be patient.  Things don't always happen when we would like to see them occur.  Things may take time.  When things are difficult, trust that if you wait them out - they will get better.  We're all on God's schedule.  And He knows exactly when everything is supposed to happen.  His timing is always best.

Keep praying.  About everything.  Always.

And never, ever give up.

Yes, But...

I recently delegated the chore of cleaning up the dishes and kitchen after dinner to the offspring.  (off springs?)  Seemed like a great idea at the time. They have more responsibility.  The kitchen gets straightened up.  The dishes get washed.  I get to mark one thing of my forever long To Do list.  In theory it seems almost perfect.

photo- publicdomainpictures.net

Yes, But...

Nothing is perfect.  Certainly not my wonderful - yet flawed - offspring.  It is a rare night indeed that they don't have to be TOLD that the chore needs doing.  Or else I face a pile of dirty dishes and counter tops when I wake the next morning.  As if they somehow suffer some sort of selective amnesia once they have finished consuming the meal which was made for them.  

OK.  So, they need reminding.  But once they are told reminded to take care of the after dinner cleanup - it gets done.  By someone other than myself.  And that's what I need to focus on.  Whatever method it takes, the chore is getting done. 

Yes, But... 

Sometimes it still annoys me that the mindset seems to be that it doesn't matter where the clean dishes go as long as they are put away somewhere.  Anywhere.  Or that my idea of a clean counter top and their idea of a clean counter are miles apart.  I'm talking like 'Earth and the end of the universe' miles apart. 

photo- publicdomainpictures.net

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The Man I Want To Be

My husband (aka: the Man of the House) is the kind of person I want to be.

He's the guy who really would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it.

He's the guy who gives a ride to a couple in the parking lot at Sam's Club because they locked their keys in their car and the spare set is at home.

He's the guy who lets an older man go in front of him in the check out line, even though he has just as many items as we do.

He's the guy who doesn't just loan you the use of his truck, but gives up part of his Saturday morning to help you with whatever it is you're needing to haul somewhere. 

He is patient, understanding, and always making excuses for some of the most trying people I know. (I may or may not fit into that category)

He's easy going. He's kind. He's generous. He's funny. (and he's quite good looking too!)

I think I want to be him when I grow up!

Incredible Patience

Shopping is not the favorite activity for The Man of the House.  He's a "go in - get what you need/want - get out" sort of shopper. Which doesn't work well when you know in a general way what you are looking for, but having trouble finding what it is specifically that you need.  It's a form of torture for him.

Case in point - cafe curtains for the kitchen.

I knew I wanted cafe curtains.  I even thought I had them picked out and purchased.  Until I got home and realized that actually measuring the window and making sure the curtains you are purchasing are, in fact, the right size for that particular window.

I had not. They were too long.  (sigh)  This is a brief synopsis of what occurred next...

Return previously purchased curtains.  Search curtain selection at store where previous curtains were purchased.  Realize they carry nothing close to the size I actually need. Leave store frustrated.

Plan to browse Target and World Market websites for potential new curtains.  Internet is down all evening and the following morning. Decide to just go check stores.

Have Man of the House take me to shopping plaza to participate in the hunt for curtains.  Look in first store, find nothing.  Look through shoe department instead.

Look at second store.  Find nothing.  Form potential new idea in mind.

Drag Man of House into another store.  Still nothing.  He wanders off to look at grills.  Finding none, he comes back.  Only to be told we will have to go to yet another store.

Store number 4.  Nope.

Store number 5.  Again, a bust.  Ponder possible new idea which began brain brewing earlier.  Get a stroke of pure genius.  Which requires returning to store number 2 to purchase item to be used as curtains.  It also requires a stop at the store where the first curtains were bought and  returned for clips to complete the new project.

And... Voila!  Using napkins found at World Market - new cafe curtains!!

Through it all, the Man of House was incredibly patient with me.  Seriously, I could learn a thing or two from him on the subject.  I probably would have been snapping out somewhere around store 3 or 4.  Absolutely by the time we had to return to store 2.  But not him - he was an absolute model of self control and understanding.

Especially considering that later the same day he must have had enough of listening to me complain about my feed aching all the time - because he took me back out to get new shoes.  I was being picky.  ( Is it too much to ask for some cute, comfortable shoes with plenty of cushioning which will go with most any outfit??)  Which meant going to 3 more stores in order to find just the right pair to cradle my feet in comfort.

Thanks sweetie!  I know all that walking around and shopping isn't your cup of tea.  I appreciate you doing it for me.  And for being patient with me in the process! 

My Love Dare: Day 6

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he who rules his spirit than he who captures a city. ~ Proverbs 16:32

DAY 6: Love is not irritable

“Love is hard to offend, and quick to forgive.”

How easily do you get irritated and offended?

How easily do you get irritated or offended by your spouse?

If you are like me the answer may be “depends on the day”.  Some days I am quickly hurt or frustrated. Minor events bring on major reactions.  Not exactly a loving response. 
A loving spouse exercises emotional control. They are a joy to live with, not a jerk.

According to The Love Dare, we often become irritable for two main reasons:

1)Stress: we’re all familiar with it. It drains and weakens us. It’s an open door for irritability. Stress can be caused by relational causes such as arguing and bitterness. It can be caused by excesses such as overworking, overspending, or overplaying. It can also be caused by deficiencies such as not enough exercise, nutrition, or rest.

The answer to this is to slow down! Pray through your anxieties instead of taking them out on your spouse. Observe the Sabbath each week to worship and rest. Recharge, refocus, and give a margin to your busy weekly schedule.

2) Selfishness: Insecurity or selfishness can send us spiraling down a road of irritability!

The calming cure for irritability? Love. Love causes us to be grateful. To forgive. To be happy. To prioritize family. Love lowers stress. It brings a response of patience rather than anger or exasperation.

TODAY’S DARE: CHOOSE TODAY TO REACT TO TOUCH CIRCUMSTANCES IN YOUR MARRIAGE IN LOVING WAYS INSTEAD OF WITH IRRITATION. BEGIN BY MAKING A LIST OF AREAS WHERE YOU NEED TO ADD MARGIN TO YOUR SCHEDULE. THEN LIST ANY WRONG MOTIVATIONS THAT YOU NEED TO RELEASE FROM YOUR LIFE.

I made the choice to react in loving ways instead of irritation.  I also realized that it is a work in progress.  I will have to make that choice over and over again.  I may slip up sometimes.  No, I probably will slip up sometimes.  When I do - I have to acknowledge it, apologize for it, and take steps to do better the next time.

Margins:

• Prioritize time for date night
• Allow for relaxing Sunday afternoons with family instead of staying busy with chores/duties.
• Make time for myself each week (exercise, bubble bath, mani/pedi, etc)

Motivations to Release:

• Admiration and attention of others
• Selfishness
• Envy

My Love Dare: Day 1

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ~ Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)

Day 1: Love is patient

I inwardly cringed as I read the words.  Patience is not exactly a virtue I possess easily. 

Slow to anger?  Me?  uh.... no.  I'm more the over reacting type gal.  Oh sure, I might not yell and scream all the time. But I have plenty of other ways of showing my impatience.  I know that scowls, eye rolls, and deep sighs can go a long way.

But as the text of the chapter pointed out to me "No one likes to be around an impatient person."  Ouch! 

Gently nursing my proverbial bruised toes, I thought this over. It was true.  No denying it.  I know I don't like to be around impatient people (Hello kettle - have you met pot?)

Patience means giving people permission to be themselves.  To be human.  To make mistakes.  and to feel safe.   And isn't that what many of us want in marriage?  To be able to relax, be ourselves, and know we will be loved and accepted even when we make mistakes?  For me, the answer to that is a big fat "YES!"

TODAY'S DARE: THE FIRST PART OF THIS DARE IS FAIRLY SIMPLE.  ALTHOUGH LOVE IS COMMUNICATED IN A NUMBER OF WAYS, OUR WORDS OFTEN REFLECT THE CONDITION OF OUR HEART.  FOR THE NEXT DAY, RESOLVE TO DEMONSTRATE PATIENCE AND TO SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AT ALL.  IF THE TEMPTATION ARISES, CHOOSE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING.  IT'S BETTER TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE THAN TO SAY SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET.

Ok.  I could do that.  Of course, for me that also means watching my expressions.  I have no poker face what so ever.  But I was willing to give it my best. 

Admittedly, the Man of the House made it easy on me by working all day and not doing anything that I found especially irritating.  But it seemed as though my Love Dare was off to a good start, despite my concerns at the beginning of Day 1.

Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. ~ James 1:19

Follow Friday, Or: The simple things: avoiding conflict, finding patience, and getting perspective.

Yes...  She's baaaack.  For another Follow Friday Fill-in. 

I figured out that the nice thing about these is that my brain can start the weekend early.  I don't feel pressure to come up with some witty, insightful, or inspirational blog post - Feeling Beachie does all the hard work for me!  And I get to meet some other great bloggers along the way. 

To play along, just play the fill-in game and add the Follow Friday linky-dink thing to your own blog.

This week's statements:

1)  I like to avoid _____ if possible.

2)  _____ is a virtue I do not have.

3)  Sometimes the _____ are the _____.

4)  I think that _____ are the best _____.

And now... the part you've all been waiting for... MY RESPONSES!!

1)  I like to avoid conflict if possible. I'm just not typically a confrontational type of person.


2)  Patience is a virtue I do not have.


3)  Sometimes the worst times in your life are the best things that happen to you.  It just takes perspective to see it

4)  I think that the simple things in life are the best things in life.