DAY 6: Love is not irritable
“Love is hard to offend, and quick to forgive.”
How easily do you get irritated and offended?
How easily do you get irritated or offended by your spouse?
If you are like me the answer may be “depends on the day”. Some days I am quickly hurt or frustrated. Minor events bring on major reactions. Not exactly a loving response.
A loving spouse exercises emotional control. They are a joy to live with, not a jerk.
According to The Love Dare, we often become irritable for two main reasons:
1)Stress: we’re all familiar with it. It drains and weakens us. It’s an open door for irritability. Stress can be caused by relational causes such as arguing and bitterness. It can be caused by excesses such as overworking, overspending, or overplaying. It can also be caused by deficiencies such as not enough exercise, nutrition, or rest.
The answer to this is to slow down! Pray through your anxieties instead of taking them out on your spouse. Observe the Sabbath each week to worship and rest. Recharge, refocus, and give a margin to your busy weekly schedule.
2) Selfishness: Insecurity or selfishness can send us spiraling down a road of irritability!
The calming cure for irritability? Love. Love causes us to be grateful. To forgive. To be happy. To prioritize family. Love lowers stress. It brings a response of patience rather than anger or exasperation.
TODAY’S DARE: CHOOSE TODAY TO REACT TO TOUCH CIRCUMSTANCES IN YOUR MARRIAGE IN LOVING WAYS INSTEAD OF WITH IRRITATION. BEGIN BY MAKING A LIST OF AREAS WHERE YOU NEED TO ADD MARGIN TO YOUR SCHEDULE. THEN LIST ANY WRONG MOTIVATIONS THAT YOU NEED TO RELEASE FROM YOUR LIFE.
I made the choice to react in loving ways instead of irritation. I also realized that it is a work in progress. I will have to make that choice over and over again. I may slip up sometimes. No, I probably will slip up sometimes. When I do - I have to acknowledge it, apologize for it, and take steps to do better the next time.
Margins:
- Prioritize time for date night
- Allow for relaxing Sunday afternoons with family instead of staying busy with chores/duties.
- Make time for myself each week (exercise, bubble bath, mani/pedi, etc)
Motivations to Release:
- Admiration and attention of others
- Selfishness
- Envy
i found your blog as i am doing the love dare. it really helped me. what are your thoughts about the dare? i am starting it late but before divorce. so far the dares have seemed to help me be better with or without my wife.
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous;
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while since you wrote this, but I too am doing the love dare late, (better late, than never). My husband and I have been separated since March 2011. He's probably wondering what the heck is wrong with me, lol. But I agree, no matter what happens in my marriage, the love dare is helping me self-reflect and be a better me.
I was just curious, (and hopeful), have you and your wife reunited since the dare?
Good information. Lucky me I recently found
ReplyDeleteyour website by accident (stumbleupon). I've saved as a favorite for later!