"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." ~ Psalm 9:9-10
It hit me like a lightening bolt as I read this verse. Trust. The key to living my word for 2014 - "Fearless" - is in trusting God.
As if God himself had leaned over my shoulder, pointed at the words and whispered: "Here's where you need to start". With trust.
I have trouble trusting God.
That's a hard thing to admit. But there it is... I don't fully trust God. Not completely. Not the way He would have me trust Him.
I realized that although I say I trust Him. Although I want to trust Him completely. There are areas I hold back. Times I try to go my own way. Fix things my way. Areas of uncertainty. And fear.
I know I don't have to be afraid. I know God keeps His promises. He has plans to prosper me. He loves me. He will never leave me or forsake me. Scripture tells me these things over and over again. I can trust Him. Completely.
But there has still been a small corner in the back of my mind waiting to be hurt, letdown, disappointed, found lacking somehow. Even by God.
Seeing this clearly for the first time shook me to my very core.
Maybe the realization of and admitting the lack of trust... the fear to trust... is that first step towards complete and total surrender. The first step to living FEARLESS.
It won't be easy - this letting go. But a life lived without trusting God - really trusting Him - is a life lived in fear.
Trust replaces the fear.
The knowledge that God has this, that it's all part of His plan. It pushes the fear away and frees us to walk the path He places before us. Where ever that path leads us.
Trust. Without reservation. Without holding back. Without fear
Oh, how this "tore my heart".....because I have such a horrible time trusting....and that includes God. I agree with your post, I know He is going to take care of me...but I feel He needs my help. (not really, but that's where the fear comes in....lack of trust). For me, it's a never-ending cycle and really serves to drive me crazy....a place that satan really wants me to me. HELP!!!
ReplyDeleteWHY do we do the same things over and over - even when we should know from experience that it doesn't work?
DeleteI think for me the issue is not that I trust that God CAN do wondrous things in my life, but that I'm not worthy for Him to do them for me. Which in itself is a trust issue.
ReplyDeleteOH yes. I'm dealing with this, too. Like Pamela above, I don't doubt that God has the ability to do amazing things. I just doubt that he's going to do them for ME. I'm going through a season of infertility, and he's showing me in it that I don't really trust him.
ReplyDeleteSeems like many of us deal with the same thing! Thanks for drooping in Lisa.
DeleteThank you for sharing openly with us.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with Woman to Woman's Word Filled Wednesday! God bless!
Thanks Jenifer! God has really been pressing me to stop being afraid to show my weaknesses.
DeleteStumbled upon your blog from a comment you posted on Proverbs31 online devotional. I too struggle with trust. "Letting Go" was my theme for a few years and now it is "Trust". Not always easy. But I must or I will fall apart when things don't go my way. Why do we struggle with this so much? So glad God is patient with me! Be blessed!
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