Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Doubt and Anxiety

Doubt and anxiety are eating me alive today.


I thought quitting my paying job was the right decision.  It wasn't a choice I made lightly.  I agonized over it.  I prayed and prayed over it.  I thought that was the right path for the next phase of my life. I would stay home, have my little Etsy shop, take care of my family and manage my home - and all would be right with the world. It all seemed so clear.

Now things are fuzzy.

As we look into the face of expense after unexpected expense my anxiety increases. Queen B's Busy Work isn't buzzing, it's crawling along on it's best days. The items I took to the consignment store still sit on display, unsold. Instead of the bright sunny future I pictured as I made plans, things are looking tight, grim and bleak.

I have a gnawing, nagging, nauseous feeling in my gut. I am doubting myself and the choices I have made in the past year.  I feel guilty for not having a steady income coming in like I used to. I find myself wondering if I should go apply for a part time job - any part time job.  I am beating myself up for leaving my previous job. 

This isn't the way it was supposed to be.

10 comments:

  1. No, it never is the way it is supposed to be. Have you thought about ramping up your business a bit? (duh, of course you have...stupid question). I'm talking farmers market, flea markets, crafting events, art & wine festivals. All of these require fees for booth space, but some might be less expensive than others. When the kids get back in school can you host a wine & appetizer event to try and sell some? Maybe a kid event as well? Word of mouth, exposure...you needs it!!!

    I wish you luck and I'm sorry it is so stressful for you right now.

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    1. Thanks. I have tried to think of ways to promote. Mostly the issue at the moment is the old "got to have money to make money" thing.

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  2. And then there are those of us feeling doubt and anxiety over keeping our jobs. Maybe none of us is ever happy. LOL Maybe some of us are predestined to doubt and anxiety.

    Clearly, you have to change something, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. And good luck (to us ALL).

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    1. I hear that! I went through the whole "feeling doubt and anxiety over keeping our jobs" thing for a good year or more before I finally closed my eyes and jumped.

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  3. I can so totally relate to this, having left my job when my son was born. It's been hit or miss since then. I'm lucky enough to work at home, and work on building my business, but that is...difficult to say the least, and those nagging, nauseous feelings come and go regularly. Chin up, young person, there is light on the other side! :)

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    1. You are now my new favorite person - just because you called me "young person"! LOL Thanks for the support and encouragment Laine!

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  4. Chin up sis! I love ya, and I know there are great things coming your way!! I know, I know, instead of being encouraging that comment probably just made you feel like punching me. LOL but, regardless, love you!!

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    1. Shut up. Just kidding. But, seriously.. No, I'm not going to punch you either.

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  5. I am a crafter and know how much you must love your craft. I will check out your easy shop, as I always wanted to do one, so I am impressed that you did one! I make my cards and sell them through people at my office and through family and friends. I was thinking craft fairs should be gearing up soon for the holiday season, and maybe give them a try, and post on your Facebook a link to your Etsy site? Don't feel bad about going after a dream, as they feed your soul. See how it goes, and if you have to go back to work, maybe use your site to give your extra money. All the best to you fellow crafter!!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragment! It means a lot coming from another crafter!

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