I'm not an easy person to live with.
Not all the time. (I hope) Sometimes I am perfectly delightful. (at least I think so) But! When I get stressed. When I am upset about something. When I am over tired. When I am hormonal. When I feel sick. Or just feel out of sorts. Well, that's a different story.
Just ask The Man of the House. He takes the weight of my moods most of the time. Even though most of the time he is not the cause of the grumpy state I am in at the moment.
I get snippy. I pout. I snap out at him over any little thing. I give him the cold shoulder.
Yes, I know what you are thinking... what a lucky, lucky guy! (Not!)
Why do I do that? If anyone else treated him that way it would make me very angry. What makes me feel that it's OK to treat him as if he is the cause of whatever is bothering me?
I'm not proud of this. I want to change.
He deserves my love and respect. Honor and encouragement. Not to be punished for my bad temper toward someone else, or because I didn't get enough rest or the whims of my monthly cycle. He's not my personal emotional punching bag.
1 Corinthians 13:5 says of love: "It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful" (ESV)
That is going to be my focus verse as I start trying to break this pattern.
This week I am going to start trying to be aware when I am feeling one of the ways that causes me to act this way toward him. And to recognize the behaviour when I start doing it and to stop it right then. To pray about it.
(And honey - if you are reading this: you have my full permission to gently remind me if I do start behaving this way!)
Thanks for making yourself accountable (in a way) to all of us, Beckey! I love your honesty and humbleness here. I think, we all can relate and are guilty of doing the same things to our poor hubbies! Great post and nice to visit your blog!
ReplyDeleteThank you Beth. That was my hope. To out myself and give myself some accountablility. And to perhaps help someone else with my observations of my own behaviour.
DeleteI think at some point we all find things a bit too much...when I was younger I had such a temper, whenever I felt bad about something everyone experienced it. Now I end up taking a deep breath and repeating that "everything will be ok"...my anger is pretty much under control.
ReplyDeleteYou were really honest in this post, and you've highlighted an aspect of yourself you don't like...confronting that isn't easy, and changing is challenging...but I think you'll be ok!
Thank you. Change is challenging. But can also be wonderful!
DeleteI think we all go through this. I also think that a person tends to mellow with age...at least I have. Well except when those pre-menopausal hormones rear their nasty head. Then I am down right psychotic, but most times I am mellow...and let's face it...that is something to look forward to. Good for you for taking control of your inner rages.
ReplyDeleteKathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Not sure I've mellowed any. And things are only getting worse as pre-menopause and I go face to face! Thank you for the encouragement.
DeleteThat is so thoughtful Beckey! It is only beginning and I can see how happy your man is--I say lucky him! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading this and encouraging me. :)
DeleteMy hubs takes this kind of brunt moods also I am so annoyed lately coming off the steroids is turning me into a raising lunatic I thought getting the shots were bad but now with drawn from them is worst and I treat my hubs shitty 50% of the time so I too am going to take this same challenge. Thanks for sharing so I can know we all need work :))
ReplyDeleteHA! I was just thinking last night that this round of steroids probably hasn't helped matters any. I turn into a starving, ranting monster when I have to take them!
DeleteYep... Our posts were similiar!! First, Huge hugs to you for noticing what you were doing and acknowledging the need for change and that it isn't his fault. I REALLY love the last line. I pulled my husband aside on Sunday, when I was working on the Esther, and let him know, "honey, you have full authority to call me out when I am not being respectful. Sometimes, I don't know when I do it, and I want to be a better wife to you and not fight." Once he stopped grinning... hahaha... I started really paying attention at what came out of my mouth, and let me tell you... I held back.. A LOT... and it was NOT easy. So, hang in there sister!! I'll be praying for you on your journey of greater respect.
ReplyDeleteFalen
www.upwardnotinward.com
Thank you Falen! I'll be praying for BOTH of us on the journey to greater respect. :0)
DeleteI love your honesty. It's so hard to be happy and cheerful when we don't feel good. But it's still not an excuse to be mean and crabby. Thanks for linking up!
ReplyDeleteExactly! And if I'm loving and considerate rather than a big ol' meanie, but explain how I feeling - I have a feeling he is going to be much more understanding, supportive, and helpful! It's a win/win!
DeleteIsn't it tough to live in such close proximity to someone and not express your negative moments to them? I'm willing to bet you aren't as bad as you made yourself sound! You are just around him during these moods more than anyone else. Not an excuse but definitely something to think about! Thanks for linking up!
ReplyDeleteI don't know... I can be pretty awful at times. ;0) You may have a point though. Thanks for reading!
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